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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

33.The chart below shows the number of international applicants from four countries that a Europena university had from 2004 and 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

33.The chart below shows the number of international applicants from four countries that a Europena university had from 2004 and 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#applicants #four #countries #europena #university #information #features #comparisons
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The line chart illustrates the
number
Use synonyms
 of international
applicants
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in
Change preposition
to
show examples
Europena
Correct your spelling
European
university
Capitalize word
University
show examples
 from four
counries
Correct your spelling
countries
 (
China
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,
Japan
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, America and Russia ), from 2004 and 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
number
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 of
applicants
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 from the four countries witnessed fluctuation throughout the
years
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 from 2004 to 2008.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the most country who recorded the highest
number
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is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
China
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,
in
Change preposition
apply
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2004 the
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applicants
Correct quantifier usage
number of applicants
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 from
China
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 was above 25000, and the
number
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 decreased gradually during the
years
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 until 2008 the
number
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had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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reached 15000 ,
While
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
America was the
oppsite
Correct your spelling
opposite
 of
China
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, in 2004 the rate of
applicants
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 was in 20000, with a slightly fluctuate, the
number
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 increased to over 27000 in 2008.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Japan
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 and Russia show the lowest
number
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 than the other countries, the
number
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 in Russia was
recording
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recorded
show examples
 throughout the
years
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, unlike
Japan
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who
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 displayed
Correct article usage
a slightly
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slightly
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slight
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 rose in 2008 as
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number
Correct article usage
the number
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reach
Wrong verb form
reached
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to
Change preposition
apply
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10000.
Therefore
Linking Words
, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent
Use synonyms
years
Add a comma
years,
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 the
applicants
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in
Change preposition
to
show examples
Europena
Correct your spelling
European
university
Capitalize word
University
show examples
 had a
divarge
Correct your spelling
diverge
 from
China
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 and
Russian
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Russia
show examples
, in the
mean time
Correct your spelling
meantime
show examples
 the
number
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 of
applicants
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 increased from America and
Japan
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.
Submitted by atheer on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, applicants, china, japan, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuation
  • trend
  • comparison
  • applicant numbers
  • peak years
  • growth
  • decline
  • pattern
  • influence
  • factors
  • diplomatic relationships
  • economic conditions
  • demand
  • convergence
  • divergence
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