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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

33.The chart below shows the number of international applicants from four countries that a Europena university had from 2004 and 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

33.The chart below shows the number of international applicants from four countries that a Europena university had from 2004 and 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#applicants #four #countries #europena #university #information #features #comparisons
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The line chart illustrates the
number
 of international
applicants
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
Europena
Correct your spelling
European
university
Capitalize word
University
show examples
 from four
counries
Correct your spelling
countries
 (
China
,
Japan
, America and Russia ), from 2004 and 2008.
Overall
, the
number
 of
applicants
 from the four countries witnessed fluctuation throughout the
years
 from 2004 to 2008.
To begin
 with, the most country who recorded the highest
number
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
China
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2004 the
applicants
Correct quantifier usage
number of applicants
show examples
 from
China
 was above 25000, and the
number
 decreased gradually during the
years
 until 2008 the
number
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
reached 15000 ,
While
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
America was the
oppsite
Correct your spelling
opposite
 of
China
, in 2004 the rate of
applicants
 was in 20000, with a slightly fluctuate, the
number
 increased to over 27000 in 2008.
On the other hand
,
Japan
 and Russia show the lowest
number
 than the other countries, the
number
 in Russia was
recording
Change the form of the verb
recorded
show examples
 throughout the
years
, unlike
Japan
who
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 displayed
Correct article usage
a slightly
show examples
slightly
Change the word
slight
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 rose in 2008 as
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
10000.
Therefore
, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent
years
Add a comma
years,
show examples
 the
applicants
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
Europena
Correct your spelling
European
university
Capitalize word
University
show examples
 had a
divarge
Correct your spelling
diverge
 from
China
 and
Russian
Correct your spelling
Russia
show examples
, in the
mean time
Correct your spelling
meantime
show examples
 the
number
 of
applicants
 increased from America and
Japan
.
Submitted by atheer on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, applicants, china, japan, years with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuation
  • trend
  • comparison
  • applicant numbers
  • peak years
  • growth
  • decline
  • pattern
  • influence
  • factors
  • diplomatic relationships
  • economic conditions
  • demand
  • convergence
  • divergence
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