1.With access to the internet and social media websites, many children are exposed to a nu mber of dangerous situations. Adults should thus limit access to the internet for their children. Do you agree or disagree?

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There is no denying the fact that many
children
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are exposed to many dangerous things when they are using the
internet
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. It is
also
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possible to say that adults and
parents
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should look after their
children
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.
This
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essay
agree
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agrees
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on
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with
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this
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statement since there is something
will
Correct pronoun usage
that will
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exposed
Change the verb form
expose
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the
children
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to
dangerous
Replace the word
danger
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.
In
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On
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the
one
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hand, it is
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Correct article usage
the parents
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parents
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parents'
parent's
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responsbility
Correct your spelling
responsibility
to take care
for
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of
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their kids.
In other words
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, you can not leave the
children
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without focusing on them especially when they are using the
internet
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, some content
it
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apply
show examples
is not for their age and kids would like to see what is behind that hidden page.
For instance
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, a survey was conducted on
+18
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the +18
show examples
website to see the majority age of the visitors and most of those visitors were below 18 years.
Moreover
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, the
internet
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open world and
any
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anyone
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one
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can write and express his opinion without any limitation and
this
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would
exposed
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expose
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the child and his family to bad
situation
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situations
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.
For example
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, when we see
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a twitter
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twitter
Capitalize word
Twitter
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application or website
any
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apply
show examples
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one
Correct your spelling
anyone
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can write what he
want
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wants
show examples
and after that government will see what was
wrote
Wrong verb form
written
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there and
this
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might affect all the family members.
In
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On
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the other
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
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, freedom is needed for
every
Replace the word
everyone
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one
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even if he is a child no need to focus on
him
Correct pronoun usage
himself
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all the time.
therefore
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,
direct
Wrong verb form
directing
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the
children
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to any spot will not be helpful
on
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in
show examples
their future, they need to make their own
decision
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decisions
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alone without any pressure on them.
In addition
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,
parents
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should give enough space for their sons to communicate freely with their
frends
Correct your spelling
friends
online.
For example
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, most of these teenagers have something to say and it is not dangerous but it might be
secrets
Fix the agreement mistake
secret
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to
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from
show examples
their
frends
Correct your spelling
friends
, and I believe
parents
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should respect
this
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thing. In conclusion, the
internet
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might
exposed
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expose
show examples
our
children
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to dangerous things, and
parents
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responsbility
Correct your spelling
responsibility
to look after their kids.
Moreover
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, I strongly agree that each child should
me
Correct your spelling
be
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monitor
Wrong verb form
monitored
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whenever he is using those websites and limit their access to the
internet
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.
Submitted by altammar12 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Try to more clearly organize your ideas within paragraphs to improve logical structure. This will help convey your arguments more effectively.
Task Achievement
Work on providing clear and comprehensive ideas in each paragraph. Expand on your points with explanations and examples.
Task Achievement
Use more relevant and specific examples to support your main points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay includes an introduction and conclusion, which provides a clear framework.
Task Achievement
You have addressed both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced view in response to the task.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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