Smart devices have put all of the world's information at our fingertips. What are the drawbacks of this development?

#devices #world #information #fingertips #development

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People

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today are capable of accessing the internet through their mobile smart

devices

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This

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puts them in touch with an infinite amount of

information

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Although

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this

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trend has many positive ramifications, it is not without drawbacks. To illustrate

this

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, the effect smart

devices

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have on memory and privacy will be analyzed. For one, smart

devices

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have caused

people

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to rely less on their memories.

For example

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, sites like Wikipedia make it easy for smartphone users to quickly access

information

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related to history and geography. The problem with

this

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convenience is that these same

people

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are committing fewer and fewer things to memory, and

this

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makes them slaves to their

devices

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Thus

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this

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is one of the main drawbacks to having a wide availability of

information

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through smart

devices

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In addition

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this

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, smart

devices

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have encroached upon

people

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's privacy.

For instance

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last

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year a child in America was unknowingly filmed by his classmate

while

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performing an embarrassing dance routine. After the video was uploaded,

this

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child suffered extreme teasing, which ultimately led him to develop a mental disorder. As

this

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shows, the exchanging of

information

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through smart

devices

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is not always a positive thing. As the above makes clear, the access smartphones have to vast amounts of

information

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poses some drawbacks. It is predicted that these weaknesses will continue to grow in size and scale into the foreseeable future.

Submitted by niravfb1987 on Wed Apr 10 2024

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Task Achievement

Try to expand your arguments with more diverse examples and explanations to strengthen your essay.

Task Achievement

In both body paragraphs, consider introducing counterarguments to provide a more balanced view before refuting them. This will enrich your argumentation and present a more comprehensive understanding of the issue.

Coherence and Cohesion

Work on varying your sentence structures to add complexity and interest to your writing. This will also demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure a clear link between your main ideas and examples by explicitly stating how each example supports your argument. This will improve clarity and effectiveness.

Coherence and Cohesion

You have a clear introduction, development, and conclusion, which effectively structures your essay.

Task Achievement

The main points are well supported with relevant examples, enhancing the essay's persuasiveness.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

229 words

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Smart devices have put all of the world's information at our fingertips. What are the drawbacks of this development?

Include an introduction and conclusion

When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people go through life doing work that they hate or have no talent for. Why does this happen? What are the consequences of this situation?

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some believe that people today have no interests in maintaining the traditional culture of their country or region. Others believe that it is still important to people that we preserve a traditional way of life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.