1.With access to the internet and social media websites, many children are exposed to a nu mber of dangerous situations. Adults should thus limit access to the internet for their children. Do you agree or disagree?
There is no denying the fact that many
children
are exposed to many dangerous things when they are using the internet
. It is also
possible to say that adults and parents
should look after their children
. This
essay agree
Change the verb form
agrees
on
Change preposition
with
this
statement since there is something will
Correct pronoun usage
that will
exposed
the Change the verb form
expose
children
to dangerous
.
Replace the word
danger
In
the Change preposition
On
one
hand, it is Correct article usage
the parents
parents
Change noun form
parents'
parent's
responsbility
to take care Correct your spelling
responsibility
for
their kids. Change preposition
of
In other words
, you can not leave the children
without focusing on them especially when they are using the internet
, some content it
is not for their age and kids would like to see what is behind that hidden page. Correct pronoun usage
apply
For instance
, a survey was conducted on +18
website to see the majority age of the visitors and most of those visitors were below 18 years. Correct article usage
the +18
Moreover
, the internet
open world and any
Correct your spelling
anyone
one
can write and express his opinion without any limitation and this
would exposed
the child and his family to bad Change the verb form
expose
situation
. Fix the agreement mistake
situations
For example
, when we see Correct article usage
a twitter
twitter
application or website Capitalize word
Twitter
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
one
can write what he Correct your spelling
anyone
want
and after that government will see what was Change the verb form
wants
wrote
there and Wrong verb form
written
this
might affect all the family members.
In
the other Change preposition
On
hands
, freedom is needed for Fix the agreement mistake
hand
every
Replace the word
everyone
one
even if he is a child no need to focus on him
all the time. Correct pronoun usage
himself
therefore
, direct
the Wrong verb form
directing
children
to any spot will not be helpful on
their future, they need to make their own Change preposition
in
decision
alone without any pressure on them. Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
In addition
, parents
should give enough space for their sons to communicate freely with their frends
online. Correct your spelling
friends
For example
, most of these teenagers have something to say and it is not dangerous but it might be secrets
Fix the agreement mistake
secret
to
their Change preposition
from
frends
, and I believe Correct your spelling
friends
parents
should respect this
thing.
In conclusion, the internet
might exposed
our Change the verb form
expose
children
to dangerous things, and parents
responsbility
to look after their kids. Correct your spelling
responsibility
Moreover
, I strongly agree that each child should me
Correct your spelling
be
monitor
whenever he is using those websites and limit their access to the Wrong verb form
monitored
internet
.Submitted by altammar12 on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Try to more clearly organize your ideas within paragraphs to improve logical structure. This will help convey your arguments more effectively.
Task Achievement
Work on providing clear and comprehensive ideas in each paragraph. Expand on your points with explanations and examples.
Task Achievement
Use more relevant and specific examples to support your main points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay includes an introduction and conclusion, which provides a clear framework.
Task Achievement
You have addressed both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced view in response to the task.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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