IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that zoos are inhumane and should be closed down. Others argue that zoos play an important role in wildlife conservation. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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There is no denying the fact that some people believe that
zoos
Use synonyms
 are inhumane and should be
shutted
Correct your spelling
shut
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 down. It is
also
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 possible to say that others argue that
zoos
Use synonyms
 play an important role in wildlife conservation. In
this
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essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 I will explain both views
as well as
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 my opinion will be expressed.
To begin
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 with, in our current era
zoos
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 are increasing day by day and it is not needed at all since it is locked the
animals
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whit
Correct your spelling
with
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 chains and prevent them
to move
Change preposition
from moving
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 freely and
do
Wrong verb form
doing
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 what their nature
seek
Correct subject-verb agreement
seeks
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 them to do.
For example
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, if anyone
visit
Change the verb form
visits
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 any zoo he can see that most of the
animals
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 do
no
Correct your spelling
not
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 act as they are in their wildlife location, most of those
animals
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 are sleepy and you can see sadness in their eyes.
In addition
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,
zoos
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 are very dangerous
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
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 to visit, even if they try to secure it well. It is
also
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 possible to say that, many dangerous
animals
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 escaped from the
zoos
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 which are located
closely
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close
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 to human
beings
Change noun form
beings'
being's
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 homes. and
this
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 is really a
terribule
Correct your spelling
terrible
 thing. In terms of, how
zoos
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are
Verb problem
play
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important
Add an article
an important
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 role in wildlife conservation. Many countries
annouance
Correct your spelling
annoyance
announced
announce
 to their strategy
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
zoos
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, and it will be helpful to increase the
number
Use synonyms
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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extinct
animals
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.
For example
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,
Saudi
Correct article usage
the Saudi
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arabia
Change the capitalization
Arabia
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 government
start
Wrong verb form
started
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this
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 thing in 2015 when the Arabic tigers' numbers
are
Wrong verb form
were
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 decreasing and it is almost
can
Verb problem
apply
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not be found,
there
Replace the word
their
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 plan was in the next 10 years we want to have 15
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Arabic
tiger
Fix the agreement mistake
tigers
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 to
be sure
Correct your spelling
ensure
show examples
 the
number
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is
Verb problem
would
show examples
 return to the normal range. Nowadays
while
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 we are in 2024 they hit their target for
Arabic
Correct article usage
the Arabic
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 tigers'
number
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.
In addition
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, having
zoos
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 will give the people the chance to see
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of
animals
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 safely.
For instance
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, one
the
Change preposition
of the
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zoos
Use synonyms
 which is located in the UK has visitors more than 2 million in every year and
this
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 is a huge
number
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comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 with other places to visit. In conclusion, there is no easy answer to
this
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 question. On balance,
however
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, I tend to that
zoos
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 should
be exist
Change the verb form
exist
show examples
 for the reasons mentioned in
this
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 essay.

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coherence cohesion
Work on sentence structure and grammar to enhance clarity and precision. Some sentences are run-ons or lack proper punctuation, making them hard to read.
task achievement
Ensure that all ideas are fully developed and supported with clear examples. For instance, the argument that zoos are dangerous could be expanded with more specific instances and statistics.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen the introduction by giving a brief background on the issue before presenting both sides of the argument. This will provide context and engage the reader more effectively.
task achievement
The essay effectively covers both views regarding the role of zoos, providing a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion appropriately summarizes the discussion and clearly states your stance on the issue, which helps in providing closure to the argument.
task achievement
The essay provides relevant examples, such as the case of Saudi Arabia's conservation efforts with the Arabic tigers, to illustrate points.
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