A few people debate that technological inventions like cellphone are making people socially less interactive. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?
At present days, there is at least one device with each individual in the community, and
people
are discussing how these new inventions affect the lack of communication between the community members. This
essay have
several points of view and will explain them all.
To commence, because of the ease of using Change the verb form
has
technology
we become addicted Add a comma
technology,
with
our phones and do Change the preposition
to
every thing
we want just Correct your spelling
everything
in
Change preposition
by
push
of a button. Add an article
the push
a push
For example
, we can order food, read newspaper
and message Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
friend
. It becomes unnecessary to ask Fix the agreement mistake
friends
people
in case we needed
Wrong verb form
need
a
help.
Another point is the Remove the article
apply
over use
of phones makes it harder for Correct your spelling
overuse
people
communicating
with each other in Change the verb form
to communicate
the
free time. Change the word
their
For instance
, when break time comes up in the university, and you look around you will find every one
staring Replace the word
everyone
on
their own phones. Change preposition
at
Consequently
, this
can lead to social phobia for some people
.
Nevertheless
, devices can help make calls with individuals who live in other countries and sharing
Wrong verb form
share
moment
together at the same time, Fix the agreement mistake
moments
as well as
face to face
service that allows Add a hyphen
face-to-face
people
Fix the infinitive
to contacts
contacts
Correct subject-verb agreement
contact
with
others as there is no distinction between them.
In conclusion, technology devices can provide many benefits Change preposition
apply
such
as do
Wrong verb form
doing
every thing
possible and Correct your spelling
everything
help
Wrong verb form
helping
people
stay connected with their abroad loved ones. As they
have many demerits like Correct word choice
They
put
distance between Wrong verb form
putting
people
while
they are in the same place, as it leads to mental illness.Submitted by danall1kat on
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task achievement
Try to develop your main points further with more specific examples or evidence. This will make your arguments more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on structuring your paragraphs more effectively. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and supporting details.
task achievement
Ensure each part of your essay links back to the main question regarding social interaction and technology. This will help maintain focus.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps the reader understand the scope of your essay.
task achievement
The essay presents some relevant arguments about the impact of technology on social interaction.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.