IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below shows the result of a survey of patients who stayed in three different wards of a hospital. It shows what percentage of the patients replied ‘very good’ about various aspects of their hospital experience.

The chart below shows the result of a survey of patients who stayed in three different wards of a hospital. It shows what percentage of the patients replied ‘very good’ about various aspects of their hospital experience.
#survey #patients #three #wards #percentage #‘very #good’ #aspects
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The chart depicts the feedback of the
pateints
Correct your spelling
patients
 who were admitted
various
Change preposition
to various
show examples
 wards of
Hospital
Correct article usage
the Hospital
show examples
.
Overall
,Holly
ward
Capitalize word
Ward
show examples
 was
top rated
Add a hyphen
top-rated
show examples
while
 Oak
ward
Capitalize word
Ward
show examples
 was lagging behind it.Maple
ward
Capitalize word
Ward
show examples
 stood at third position most of the
time
 except
waiting
Change preposition
for waiting
show examples
time
 .
Firstly
,Maple
ward
Capitalize word
Ward
show examples
 stayed at 1st
postion
Correct your spelling
position
 for all the different parameters.Percentages for the
hostpital
Correct your spelling
hospital
 staff,
quality
time
 and
quality
 of care are comparable and the value is close to 90%
while
 waiting
time
 for
this
 section was 75% which
relatively
Add a missing verb
is relatively
show examples
 lesser than other factors.Oak
ward
 was
second
Correct article usage
the second
show examples
 most liked award by the patients and the
resposes
Correct your spelling
responses
 for hospital staff,waiting
time
 ,
Quality
 treatment and
quality
 of aftercare
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 68%,54%,80% and 70% respectively.Maple
ward
Capitalize word
Ward
show examples
 has poor performance as compared to others.
However
,
waiting
Correct article usage
the waiting
show examples
time
 for
this
 was
more
Correct word choice
longer
show examples
 than Oak
ward
Capitalize word
Ward
show examples
.It was outperforming in the
quality
 of treatment but
still
Add a comma
still,
show examples
 value is less than
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 two.
Submitted by shehzadarshad976 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words ward, time, quality with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: