Some people believe that children should spend all of their free time with thrir family. Others believe that thid is unnecessary or even negative. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some individuals think that
children
should spend all of their leisure
time
with their family members to
strenghthen
Correct your spelling
strengthen
their bonds and for better nurturing
whereas
others opine that
this
trend may
put
Verb problem
have
show examples
detrimental
Add an article
a detrimental
the detrimental
show examples
effect on the holistic development of
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
as it
increase
Change the verb form
increases
show examples
their
dependancy
Correct your spelling
dependency
dependence
on
parents
and make them more asociality. For me, a sense of freedom is prior than anything else which is possible if
parents
encourage their
children
to participate in extra-curricular activities. On the one hand, spending enough
time
at home helps to create a better understanding among
children
and their
parents
. In
this
way, their bonds not only become stronger but
also
create a sense of security and
belongings
Correct your spelling
belonging
show examples
towards their
children
when they enjoy the accompany of their
parents
. Another is that, a family environment is a safe place for
children
where they can freely share their feelings and thoughts
infront
Correct your spelling
in front
of their
parents
without
doing
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
any hesitation. So,
this
type of environment is beneficial for better nurturing of their
children
and promoting
emotionally
Change the adverb
emotional
show examples
well-being as well.
On the other hand
, Majority of the individuals think that it may negatively
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
the development of
children
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
. It is commonly seen that spending excessive
time
with family might limit their social interactions which is essential for developing their interpersonal skills when they
engaged
Wrong verb form
engage
show examples
in any
acticity
Correct your spelling
activity
with their friends.
Moreover
, the constant involvement of family members
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
children
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
become overdependent upon their
parents
to
take
Correct your spelling
make
show examples
even small decisions which will create
dilemma
Fix the agreement mistake
dilemmas
show examples
in their
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
to choose the right path in future. To reiterate, spending free
time
with loved ones is essential
fo
Correct your spelling
for
show examples
creating good
relation
Fix the agreement mistake
relations
show examples
and the better development of
children
whereas
others have their own view because it may limit their social involvement when they
solely
Add a missing verb
are solely
show examples
dependent on their
parents
. For me,
children
should be
independant
Correct your spelling
independent
and free to choose where they want to spend their free
time
and
parents
should motivate their
children
to
involve
Wrong verb form
be involved
show examples
in
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
of activities to learn new things when they socially interact with different personalities.
Also
, it helps to increase their involvement and confidence
too
Rephrase
apply
show examples
.
Submitted by kaurjagdeep2097 on

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task achievement
Make sure to clarify all points and give equal consideration to both sides of the discussion. Also, provide relevant specific examples to illustrate abstract ideas.
coherence cohesion
Refine your transitions between paragraphs to enhance the overall flow. For example, using more varied linking words can make your argument more cohesive.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the argument.
task achievement
The essay discusses both views and clearly states the writer's own opinion, addressing the task prompt fully.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • bonding
  • values and traditions
  • sense of security
  • nurturing environment
  • emotional well-being
  • social interactions
  • interpersonal skills
  • over-dependence
  • independence
  • self-reliance
  • balance
  • peers
  • comprehensive development
  • confidence
  • collaboration
  • diverse environments
  • cognitive growth
  • emotional growth
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