IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and thecnology. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

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These days there has been an increasing number of
people
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 who claim that
students
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 mostly should concentrate on
rudementary
Correct your spelling
rudimentary
subjects
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,
such
Linking Words
 as science and technology that
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
 be demanded in the future,
while
Linking Words
 other
people
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 insist that
students
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 should
chose
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choose
show examples
 their favourite curricula and struggle
on
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with
show examples
 it . In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I am going to compare both statements, before giving my own opinion. On the one hand, focusing only on
the
Correct article usage
a
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 particular type of subject,
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
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 science and technology can cause
to
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apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
competition and in the same way can lead to
the
Correct article usage
a
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 high rate of unemployment and
buncruptsy
Correct your spelling
bankruptcy
, where
students
Use synonyms
 from all over the world would find themselves
on
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in
show examples
 that certain fields. During the revolution times, namely young generation was mostly interested in science, as it was commercial and suitable for
people
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, whilst in the result
world
Correct article usage
the world
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 experienced the highest rate of unemployment in the
19 th centuary
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19th century
.
With
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In
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another words
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another word
other words
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, giving the much emphasis on
majour
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major
subjects
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 can cause
to
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apply
show examples
several global
catastrophies
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catastrophes
. So,
student
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students
show examples
 themselves should identify
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 subject
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in where
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where
Correct word choice
which
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 they can succeed
in
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apply
show examples
.
On the other hand
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, studying requested
subjects
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 can be profitable, as
whole
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the whole
a whole
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 industry would run around that field and
people
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 easily can create and compile
datas
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data
 or open educational courses, leading to both
nation's
Correct article usage
the nation's
show examples
 development and
economy
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 boost, as well .
Additionally
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 , undergraduates would not be aware of what university and college
that
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 should apply
on
Change preposition
to
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 or
eathier
Correct your spelling
either
 what destination they should study, as there would be basic and popular ones. In conclusion, in
this
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 essay, I discussed why learning certain and
vary
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various
show examples
subjects
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 that lie on
individuals preference
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individual preferences
show examples
 are different. Where
,
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apply
show examples
 I personally
belive
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believe
show examples
 that
students
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 should have more flexible
type
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types
show examples
 of variants and offers.

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task achievement
Work on providing more specific examples to support your arguments. This will help make your points more convincing and relatable.
task achievement
Develop your ideas more clearly and thoroughly. This will allow readers to fully understand your perspective and logic.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of your ideas within and between paragraphs. Consider using linking words and phrases to guide the reader more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to spelling errors, such as 'buncruptsy' and 'centuary'. While they don't heavily impact your score, correcting them will enhance clarity.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction effectively sets up the discussion by presenting both sides of the argument clearly.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion succinctly reiterates your main points and presents your opinion clearly.
complete response
You address both perspectives on the topic, which is essential for a balanced discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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