More and more are moving away from an agricultural background to relocate to cities in order to look for work? What will be consequences of this? What solutions can you offer?
Nowdays
, many Correct the word
Nowadays
people
from an
agricultural lands Correct article usage
apply
moving
to modern Wrong verb form
move
countries
in case they find jobs. In this
essay, I will explain the sequences of migration to developing countries
and will give viable solutions.
To commence with consequences, developing countries
can face many problems such
as increasing the number of
population in the major cities, Correct quantifier usage
apply
this
lead
to other problems like the environment Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
can be
harmed Wrong verb form
being
from
traffic congestion or polluted air. Change preposition
by
For example
, Paris city
is suffering from traffic jams Capitalize word
City
in
the roads because it is a common Immigration destination. Another problem Change preposition
on
that
it can back to the developed Add a missing verb
is that
countries
, people
from other cultures will practise their own costumes and the country's culture will disapear
and maybe get stolen.
When we talk about solutions, there are several ways to address Correct your spelling
disappear
this
issue, primarily, the government can provide main facilities such
as hospitals, universities and schools in rural areas, this
can has
Change the verb form
have
potential
to yield some right results. Correct article usage
the potential
Moreover
, they can devolep
Correct your spelling
develop
Correct article usage
an agriculture
agriculture
system so the Replace the word
agricultural
scopes
field more and Fix the agreement mistake
scope
people
can earn easily. Lastly
, building factories near to
villages so Change preposition
apply
people
can find place
to work.
In conclusion, moving abroad from poor Add an article
a place
countries
to earn a good salary allows you live
a better life, it causes different issues in the environment and traditions of the Fix the infinitive
to live
another
country, to solve these problems the government of the poor Correct quantifier usage
other
countries
should work to enhance the living standards and the economy of the country.Submitted by danall1kat on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and details to support your arguments. This will help to strengthen your task achievement score.
task achievement
Ensure that all the main points are fully developed and supported with examples or reasoning.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of ideas by using more linking words and phrases to connect paragraphs and sentences.
coherence cohesion
Try to avoid repetition and unnecessary details which can detract from the overall clarity of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument well.
task achievement
You have addressed the topic and have attempted to provide solutions, which is essential for task achievement.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!