You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: People aim to keep balance between their work and other parts of their lives, but few people achieve it. What are the problems in trying to achieve this goal and how can these problems be overcome? Write at least 250 words

In the modern era,
people
tend to struggle with many problems to maintain
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
stability between
work
and
life
;
however
,there are very few
people
who are able to achieve a balance.
This
essay will shed light on the main reason and suggest several strategies
while
Change preposition
for
show examples
achieving stability in job and private
life
. To commence with, there are a plethora of reasons why it is difficult for most
people
to achieve a balance between
work
and
life
. First and foremost, living in the era of dominant technologies, which
instill
Change the spelling
instil
show examples
the values of effort and
endeavor
Change the spelling
endeavour
show examples
in modern
people
in meeting
Change preposition
to meet
show examples
the demands of
materialistic
Correct article usage
a materialistic
show examples
society. A typical example is children; they are always trying to study day in and day out to pass the entrance exam with flying colours.It is the principal cause of a lack of time to spend
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
their
life
.
In addition
, the appearance of diverse social media makes them
while
away time and immerse themselves in it.
As a result
,
people
who use social media without control will not have time to devote to other aspects of
life
.
On the other hand
, there are a wide range of effective ways to tackle
this
issue.
Firstly
, each individual should opt for a downshifting lifestyle and learn when enough and
then
we all begin to enjoy
life
in its true form.
This
leads to
people
not being concerned about financial difficulties and can live a leisurely
life
. Another resolution is that a great deal of policies should be introduced by the government regarding better salary packages for employers.
This
enables
people
to not
require
Wrong verb form
be required
show examples
to
work
overtime to earn more. In conclusion, it is difficult for
people
who try to stabilize between
life
and
work
.
However
,
this
issue can be solved by working towards a downshifting lifestyle and fulfilling
life
.
Besides
, go
Submitted by elsenglish16992 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve the coherence and cohesion of your essay, consider using clearer transitions between paragraphs and points. This will help the reader follow your argument more smoothly.
task achievement
Support your main points with more specific examples or evidence. This could enhance the persuasiveness and clarity of your argument.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen the conclusion by summarizing key points more explicitly, reinforcing your main argument more succinctly.
task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single clear idea. This will enhance the clarity of your message and help to maintain the reader's interest.
task achievement
You have successfully addressed the task by discussing both problems and solutions related to achieving work-life balance.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly sets the context, and the conclusion attempts to provide closure.
task achievement
You have identified some key issues related to work-life balance, such as technological influences and social media, which are relevant to the topic.

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  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
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