In many countries, more and more women have full-time jobs as men. There is a logic that they should share the housework equally with men. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #women #jobs #men #logic #housework

A lot of

women

have full-time jobs like

men

in a lot of regions so they

also

share the

housework

with

men

at the same level. In

this

essay, I will talk about the

resons

Correct your spelling

reasons

why I totally agree with it. First

Change preposition

show examples

all, the responsibility of

doning houseworks

Correct your spelling

doing housework

is equally between

men

and

women

. A lot of

men

believe that

women

such

as their mother and wife, need to do all

housework

Correct article usage

the housework

show examples

and they

also

leave home and earn money but it is wrong because

housework

is for the whole family so all family

members

should do it, like cleaning the floor and throwing the rubbish, together. To be honest, it can improve the family relationship and the

feeling

Fix the agreement mistake

feelings

show examples

of each family

members

Fix the agreement mistake

member

show examples

Men

would believe that they do lots of

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

home and feel great and happy and

women

would think that all family

members

do their best so they could feel

relized

Correct your spelling

realised

and comfortable. That

also

means if

women

and

men

housework

with each other equally and fair, their relationship would become better and better.

Second,

women

are

bussy

Correct your spelling

busy

show examples

and do not have enough time to do the

housework

regularly. We all know that a full-time

jobs

Change the noun form

job

show examples

means they need to work at

lease

Correct your spelling

least

show examples

8 hours in about 5 days so they would be tired. Recently,

women

stared

Correct your spelling

started

show examples

to find

a full-time jobs

Correct the article-noun agreement

a full-time job

full-time jobs

show examples

and they need to work a long time

everyday

Replace the word

every day

show examples

. If a woman

need

Change the verb form

needs

show examples

to work

Change preposition

apply

show examples

8 hours and do the

housework

everyday

Replace the word

every day

show examples

, she would be very third so ow can shedone it

pefectly

Correct your spelling

perfectly

and daily. It is too hard for her so why not try to share the

housework

with every family

members

Fix the agreement mistake

member

show examples

Change the punctuation

show examples

To sum up

, I believe that sharing

housework

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show examples

execellent

Correct your spelling

excellent

idea

nowaday

Correct your spelling

nowadays

show examples

Submitted by asllchkied on Mon Oct 21 2024

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task achievement

Aim to expand and develop the main ideas with specific examples or additional points. For instance, discuss more about the challenges faced by women in balancing work and housework, and offer more examples to reinforce the argument.

coherence cohesion

Improve the use of linking words to enhance fluency and ensure the essay flows more logically from one point to the next. Words like 'however,' 'therefore,' and 'in addition' can serve this purpose.

task achievement

The essay presents a clear position on the topic from the start, which is maintained throughout the writing.

coherence cohesion

The structure of the essay includes a proper introduction and conclusion, which enhances readability.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

295 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries, more and more women have full-time jobs as men. There is a logic that they should share the housework equally with men. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

online shopping has various advantages for consumers but may also have disadvantages, such as the loss of some individual privacy. do the advantages of online shopping for the consumers outweight the disadvantages ?

International tourism has brought about enormous benefit to many places .At the same time there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and environment . do disadvantage is outweight than advantages ?