IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Pollution and other environmental damages are caused by a country developing and becoming richer. This problem cannot be avoided. To what extent do you agree?

#pollution #damages #country
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An inevitable issue
that is
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 caused by developing
nations
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 that are becoming richer is pollution and other damages that cause harm to the
environment
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. I strongly agree with
this
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 statement as
such
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 countries are increasing their
use
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 of oil and fossil
fuels
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as well as
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 not contributing to actions that help improve the
environment
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.
Firstly
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, the
use
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 of oils and fossil
fuels
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, which release harmful gases to the
environment
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 are becoming increasingly common as they are mainly used to generate electricity. Electricity is essential for homes and businesses to operate, so without it, a country cannot fully develop.
For instance
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, 60% of the total global electricity generation comes from fossil
fuels
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.
In addition
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, as countries become more advanced, other
nations
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 are more likely to trade items as
such
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, increasing the
use
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 of items that cause pollution globally.
Moreover
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, most of the expenditure for a developing country goes towards its advancement.
This
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 results in a lack of contribution to help the
environment
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.
For example
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,
nations
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 may decide to work together to improve the
environment
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,
however
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, a country
that is
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 still developing may not be willing to spend its funds on
such
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 matters.
Due to
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this
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, environmental damages cannot be tackled globally as not all
nations
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 are of the same view. In conclusion, the
use
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 of oil and fossil
fuels
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, which are essential to most countries and the reluctance to bring out funds to improve the
environment
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 are contributing to pollution and environmental damage.
Submitted by d.adeliasong on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen arguments. For instance, mention particular countries or initiatives related to fossil fuel use.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear and distinct main idea to improve clarity. This will enhance the logical structure of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the argument.
task achievement
The essay stays on topic and addresses the prompt directly, showcasing a complete understanding of the task.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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