Some people say that to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

at first ,
elimenating
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eliminating
of break out
deases
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diseases
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is a
crutual
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crucial
and serious problem
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
everysids
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every side
,and honestly
Add a comma
,
show examples
the
government
's role is very important to sustain our
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
from
polution
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pollution
, surely im with
diclining
Correct your spelling
declining
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
polution
Correct your spelling
pollution
, but even im agree
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
will try to discuss both sides. No doubt that the
interfering
Replace the word
interference
show examples
of the
government
in banding more
polution
Correct your spelling
pollution
will stop the upcoming
problmes
Correct your spelling
problems
,
such
as the
speardation
Correct your spelling
spread
of tansemiting
deases
Correct your spelling
diseases
, and insects, and that for sure will
effect
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affect
show examples
on
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apply
show examples
our
children
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children's
show examples
health
Correct word choice
and ultimitly
show examples
ultimitly
Correct your spelling
ultimately
the
next
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apply
show examples
future generations.
On the other hand
,
i
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I
show examples
firm
Change the word
firmly
show examples
believe
than
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that
show examples
health is the most important thing to
build
Wrong verb form
building
show examples
a producer
counities
Correct your spelling
counties
countries
,so, if the
government
rise hands up
of
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to
show examples
reducing the
polution
Correct your spelling
pollution
and caring
to
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for
show examples
another issues
Replace the adjective
another issue
other issues
show examples
like education or
built
Wrong verb form
building
show examples
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
city,it will lose the main thing that the
government
persues
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pursues
show examples
to
maintan
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maintain
. for
provide
Wrong verb form
providing
show examples
a
relevent
Correct your spelling
relevant
stander
Correct your spelling
standard
show examples
of life, achieving good health care
to
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for
show examples
peole
Correct your spelling
people
and keeping our
everonment
Correct your spelling
environment
clean and healthy for
peole
Correct your spelling
people
and
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
spieches
Correct your spelling
speeches
species
on our planet.
last
but
noot
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not
show examples
least, keeping our environment always in a perfect condition not
onle
Correct your spelling
only
for us but for our healthy and clean food which surely will be affected
witha
Correct your spelling
with
with a
bad and
poluted
Correct your spelling
polluted
environment,
also
keeping our
evironment
Correct your spelling
environment
clean
not
Add a missing verb
is not
show examples
only good for our
heath
Correct your spelling
health
show examples
but all to improve the
puplic
Correct your spelling
public
scenery ,which
draw
Change the verb form
draws
show examples
attention all over the world ,
ultmitly
Correct your spelling
ultimately
, everyone in the world will be exciting to see our country
thu
Capitalize the word
Thu
show examples
, the tourism will
be thrives
Change the verb form
thrive
show examples
and we will gain dozen of money ,it could be useful to improve our society.
Submitted by Mido  on

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general
Try to develop and support your main ideas with more relevant examples and evidence. This can make your argument more convincing and comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow of your essay. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, maintaining a coherent structure throughout your essay.
task achievement
Be sure to address all parts of the task. While you have discussed both sides, more detailed examination of each aspect could strengthen your response.
task achievement
Pay attention to sentence fragments and ensure that each sentence is complete and clear. Editing for clarity can help improve understanding.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay has an introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your discussion effectively.
task achievement
You acknowledge the importance of government intervention in reducing pollution, which is a critical point related to the task.
logical structure
You attempt to discuss both sides of the argument, which shows the ability to consider multiple perspectives.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • preventive healthcare
  • environmental regulations
  • respiratory diseases
  • public health policies
  • sanitation facilities
  • urban planning
  • communicable diseases
  • socio-economic factors
  • sustainable development
  • government intervention
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • industrial emissions
  • air quality index
  • affordable housing
  • mental wellbeing
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