IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You recently attended a training course for your work. Your employer has asked you for your feedback on the training course. Write a letter to your employer In your letter • remind your employer what the course was about • explain why the course was useful to you in your work • suggest why the course may not be suitable for some of your other colleagues

#course #work #employer #feedback #colleagues
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear Anna, I
wish
Add the particle
wish to
show examples
 remind
that
Correct pronoun usage
you that
show examples
 I was on
business
Add an article
the business
a business
show examples
 course
last
 week.
This
 class was about
time-management
Correct your spelling
time management
show examples
, delegation, self-control,
emotional
Correct word choice
and emotional
show examples
 stability of middle managers. Of course,
this
Correct pronoun usage
these
show examples
 are interesting themes, but the teacher sometimes
was
Verb problem
did
show examples
 not
understandable
Replace the word
understand
show examples
 because of her voice, and it was not only my problem,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 asked some students about it. Despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
 problem she is a big professional
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 coaching, worked with the biggest companies in our region and really can help us to improve our business. I think, that we can learn how to change our structure for the most effective work and will do it.
For example
, we can delegate some tasks to employees who can do it better. But first of all, we need to know what are colleagues want to do, what are they interested in. Maybe that knowledge can help us and them to understand ourselves and each other and make our company more
effectively
Change the word
effective
show examples
, but, maybe, we need to
looking
Change the verb
look
show examples
 for another teacher or need more time to
adapting
Change the verb form
adapt
show examples
.
Submitted by oanastasia974 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion
Try to organize the letter into clear paragraphs, separating each main idea. This will help in presenting your thoughts more logically.
Task Response
Make sure to address all bullet points as asked in the task. Expand on why the course may not be suitable for some colleagues to fully achieve the task.
Task Achievement
You clearly reminded your employer about the course and highlighted its importance.
Task Achievement
The tone of your letter is polite and appropriate for a communication with an employer.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Training program
  • Skill enhancement
  • Job responsibilities
  • Practical exercises
  • Hands-on experience
  • Operational efficiency
  • Subject matter
  • Prerequisites
  • Specialized knowledge
  • Teaching methodology
  • Learning preferences
  • Feedback
  • Course facilitator
  • Professional development
  • Engagement
  • Interactive components
What to do next:
Look at other essays: