IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people believe that a university education is necessary for a good career. Do you agree or disagree? What other factors can contribute to a good career? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #university #education #career #factors
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I believe that for each of us
university
Use synonyms
 can be the key to
successful
Correct article usage
a successful
show examples
 career or business.
By
Change preposition
From
show examples
 the experience of relatives, I understood that
university
Use synonyms
 is a practical simulator where
students
Use synonyms
 discover all
moments
Correct article usage
the moments
show examples
 which should be faced. I
am agree
Change the verb form
agree
show examples
 with
this
Linking Words
 statement because
Use synonyms
university
Add an article
the university
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 is not only knowledge about
profession
Add an article
the profession
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 but
also
Linking Words
 preparing neuro
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
 for productive work with tons of information.
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
university
Use synonyms
 is a good place to make
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
important acquaintances for
entire
Correct pronoun usage
my entire
show examples
 life
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because connections will always help to solve all problems that are in front and it is very stupid to deny communication with other
students
Use synonyms
. It is beyond doubt that after
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
university
Use synonyms
 people will be more flexible in searching vacancy not only by salary
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
for
Change preposition
by
show examples
 country and perspectives to grow up. It is sometimes assumed that factors like
:
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 persistence, wish to learn, discipline and communication can navigate
students
Use synonyms
 for getting good opportunities in their career. When
students
Use synonyms
 are optimistic, they have
motivation
Change the article
the motivation
show examples
 to go forward to
pass
Verb problem
overcome
show examples
challenges
Correct article usage
the challenges
show examples
 which are facing them. About
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
communication is well to paste Steve
Jobs
Change noun form
Jobs's
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 quote “If you want to go fast, go alone, if you want to go far, go together” showing to
students
Use synonyms
 that in specific troubles may be specific solutions that will during few minutes.
And
Correct word choice
Finally
show examples
Linking Words
finally
Add a comma
finally,
show examples
 discipline is
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 important component
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
successful
Correct article usage
a successful
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 career and planning
ambitious
Correct article usage
an ambitious
show examples
 future. In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
 I can say that opportunities that
gives
Change the verb form
give
show examples
university
Use synonyms
 we should not skip and must
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
accept in our
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
Submitted by acaitaz on

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task achievement
To strengthen your task achievement, incorporate more specific examples from personal experience or external knowledge that can substantiate your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence and cohesion by ensuring more seamless transitions between ideas. This will make your essay flow more naturally.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion effectively reinforces your stance on the importance of university education in securing a good career.
complete response
Acknowledgment of multiple factors contributing to a successful career demonstrates a well-rounded view of the topic.
clear comprehensive ideas
The essay includes a variety of ideas related to discipline, networking, and skills development at university, illustrating a broad understanding.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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