Goverments investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Goverments must invest this money in public services instead. Do you agree or disagree?

In every country on the earth, there is disagreement around the topic of legal
funds
. With regard to
this
topic, few consider legal bodies ought to
spent
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spend
show examples
the
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apply
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all the money on local facilities rather than spending on arts. I totally disagree with
this
opinion and provide some grounds
from
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for
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this
contend
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content
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.
To begin
with, there is no doubt arts bring several substantial things to
human's
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human
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life. Primarily,
art
like music and painting give job
opportunites
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opportunities
; many folks depend upon
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it
show examples
for their daily bread and butter.
Likewise
, many individuals
choice
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choose
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art
as
theri
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their
passion and profession and do excellent growth.
As a result
, it
assist
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assists
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to grow
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in growing
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the economy of the nations.
For example
, a recent survey conducted by Times News of India indicates that
artiest
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artists
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paying
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pay
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10% more taxes than small
labours
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labourers
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in Mumbai city.
Additionally
, if bureaucracy totally stops
to allocate
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apply
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funds
to
art
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the art
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industry;
hence
many
artist
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artists
show examples
will
deter
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be deterred from
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working
,.
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,
.
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Partially, many people will be jobless and will become
burden
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a burden
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on taxpayers.
Moreover
,
artist
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the artist
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industries
is
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are
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ways of entertainment. The
mojority
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majority
of people
likes
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like
show examples
to watch
T.V
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TV
and
listen
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listen to
show examples
music after work load which
help
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helps
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them
to get
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apply
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unwind from work life. If there
will be
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is
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less entertainment people will
bore
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be bored
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at home and it will
leads
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lead
show examples
to many serious health-related
problem
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problems
show examples
. In a nutshell,
although
public service is
a
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apply
show examples
paramount for the development of any nation, taking
way
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away
show examples
all the
art
funds
is not a feasible solution. Authority should
thing
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think
show examples
wisely before allocating the
tax payers
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taxpayers
show examples
funds
.
Submitted by taniamall786 on

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task response
Clarify your stance in the introduction. The essay states 'I totally disagree,' but providing a brief rationale will strengthen your position.
task response
Ensure arguments are developed fully. Some points are mentioned without sufficient expansion or examples.
coherence cohesion
Improve grammatical accuracy. There are several minor English errors that occasionally obscure meaning, e.g., 'artiest' instead of 'artists' and 'thing' instead of 'think'.
task response
The essay effectively addresses both sides of the argument, although it disagrees with the statement.
task response
Examples such as the survey in Mumbai City help to substantiate claims.
coherence cohesion
Logical flow and separation of ideas into clear paragraphs, aiding comprehension for the reader.
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