It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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Money
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was always a subject
for
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of
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different debates and
opinons
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opinions
. It is vital for anyone to keep some
money
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a side
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aside
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for the upcoming days, including
younsters
Correct your spelling
youngsters
. I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
intiative
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initiative
because
money
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is an essential part
in
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of
show examples
everyone's life and building the habit of
money
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saving
form
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from
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early
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an early
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ages
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age
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can remain with someone for his entire
live
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life
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. One of the main
reason
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reasons
show examples
why saving
money
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is
extremly
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extremely
important is that
moeny
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money
can make everything feasible. If someone has financial freedom from his past savings , he can study in his dream university. Without
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money
Add a comma
money,
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some students, who
spent
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spend
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their
money
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here and there, find it complicated to join their dream course, and that will
enforce
Verb problem
force
show examples
them to select undesirable
facluties
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faculties
facilities
.
However
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, if saving
started
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starts
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from an early age,and after
reasonable
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a reasonable
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amount of time, the amount of
saving
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savings
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can support them with their tuition fees.
For example
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,
internation
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international
students rely on their own saving in great proportion to support themself
while
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they are studying abroad. The other main reason why
this
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habit is important is that it can stay with an individual practicing it for
lifelong
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a long time
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.
In other words
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, when teenagers
taught
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are taught
show examples
to reduce their spending and save some of their income , they will be more competent to
metigate
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mitigate
with the difficult future.
Although
Linking Words
practicing
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practising
show examples
saving and spending
the
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apply
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money
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wisely is something not easy with all these
temptation
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temptations
show examples
outside, it is viable to learn
this
Linking Words
activty
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activity
far early.
For example
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, a study
have
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has
show examples
shown the difference between
indivduals
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indivduals'
indivdual's
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soci-economic
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socioeconomic
status and their saving habits. They found that families with
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money saving
Add a hyphen
money-saving
show examples
discipline are more
finacially
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financially
stable than
hyper spending
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hyper-spending
show examples
families. In conclusion, it is important even for children to learn how to save and spend
money
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wisely. In my
opinion
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opinion,
show examples
it is
extremly
Correct your spelling
extremely
vital for their
futur
Correct your spelling
future
because
money
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can facilitate their upcoming choices and
this
Linking Words
habit when it comes to action
Change preposition
at in
show examples
in
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
early
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
can stay till death.
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grammar
Work on improving grammar and spelling to enhance clarity. For instance, 'live' should be 'life', 'intiative' should be 'initiative', 'younsters' should be 'youngsters', and 'facluties' should be 'faculties'.
grammar
Improve sentence structure to avoid run-on sentences and ensure clearer arguments. Consider breaking complex thoughts into shorter, more precise sentences.
examples
While the response is generally complete, adding more varied and specific examples can help illustrate points more effectively and strengthen arguments.
clear stance
The essay presents a clear opinion and stance from the outset, which is maintained throughout the discussion.
structure
The introduction and conclusion are clearly outlined, effectively framing the essay.
content points
The essay discusses savings' benefits such as educational opportunities and lifelong financial habits, providing concrete reasons for the stance.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
What to do next:
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