IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people think more public money should be spent on roads and motorways than public transport. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #money #roads #motorways #transport
In
this
comtemporary
Correct your spelling
contemporary
 world, no one could even imagine life without pathways for cars, bikes or bicycles. Certain groups of people are of the opinion that
tax payers
Correct your spelling
taxpayers
show examples
money
 should be well spent on
roads
 and motorways rather than on communal transport. I disagree with
this
 viewpoint and the following paragraphs shall outline my reasons for
this
 belief. Nowadays, every individual who
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 leaving
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their home for jobs
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 using
roads
Correct article usage
the roads
show examples
. The governments are consistently putting the public
money
 to maintain smooth
functing
Correct your spelling
functioning
 of vehicles on
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
transportation
 networks.
Additionaly
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, it is evident that authorities have to
secrifice
Correct your spelling
sacrifice
 huge
cut
Fix the agreement mistake
cuts
show examples
 from their annual budget,
while
this
money
 can be used for several other sectors like Healthcare and education.
For example
,The Quebec government have to invest twenty
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 budget on new
roads
 and repairs. As
this motorways
Change the determiner
this motorway
these motorways
show examples
 are
consistentily
Correct your spelling
consistently
 used by everyone, life would have been hell without pathways for vehicles. On the
contary
Correct your spelling
contrary
,
equal
Add an article
an equal
show examples
 amount of
money
 needs to be spent on the public
transportation
 system.
Firstly
, not everyone can afford
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 own personal vehicles to commute for
day to day
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
show examples
 activities. Major sections of the public are largely dependent on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public transit. It is
convinient
Correct your spelling
convenient
 and cheap to travel by local community shuttle.
Secondly
, if the government stop
investion
Correct your spelling
investing
 in the local
transportation
, there will be traffic
conjection
Correct your spelling
congestion
 and accidents in the city
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
.
For example
, everyone will bring their own vehicle to work, which will create
delay
Fix the agreement mistake
delays
show examples
 in travel.
Moreover
, people will not find enough space to park their
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
.
To conclude
, it is evident that life would have been
imposible
Correct your spelling
impossible
 to imagine without
roads
 and motorways. But it is important to valve public
transportation
 like local buses, trains and much more.
Submitted by lovjotsandhu1 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Try to present a more structured argument by using clear topic sentences for each paragraph. This will help guide the reader through your ideas more effectively, ensuring that the logical structure is stronger.
Task Response
Your essay presents a well-defined introduction and conclusion, which effectively bookend the discussion. However, consider briefly summarizing your main points in the conclusion for a bit more clarity.
Task Response
Use more specific examples or case studies to support your arguments. This will illustrate your points more clearly and demonstrate a deeper engagement with the topic.
Task Response
The essay begins with a clear statement of your position, which provides a good foundation for your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have outlined two clear viewpoints in your body paragraphs: the importance of roads and the necessity of public transport. This shows a good attempt to balance perspectives.
Task Response
Your conclusion succinctly wraps up your argument, effectively reaffirming your position.

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