IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The system used for rubbish/garbage collection in your local area is not working properly. This is causing problems for you and your neighbours. Write a letter to the local council. In your letter • describe how the rubbish collection system is not working properly( height and not enough capacity • explain how this is affecting you and your neighbours ( smell and mosquites , spred illness • suggest what should be done about the problem(arrnage the biiger size

#system #rubbish #garbage #collection #area #neighbours #council #height #capacity #smell #mosquites #illness #arrnage #biiger #size
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to express my dissatisfaction regarding the
garbage
 bin which is not working properly in our community. First of all, the
garbage
 collector has
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
 height so it is difficult
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 people to reach over there and dump the
garbage
.
Thus
, local people put the
grabage
Correct your spelling
garbage
 outside
instead
 of putting
inside
Correct pronoun usage
it inside
show examples
 the bin. Aside from
this
 , the carrying capacity
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is not enough to store the whole
community
Change noun form
community's
show examples
 rubbish.
Due to outside
Change preposition
Outside
show examples
garbage
 bags ,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
evoke a disgusting smell , which makes
unable
Correct pronoun usage
them unable
show examples
 to take a breath.
Moreover
,
mosquoties
Correct your spelling
mosquitoes
are gather
Change the verb form
are gathered
are gathering
show examples
 over there and spread a lot of ailments , which are not only affected the older but
also
 the children more frequently. I kindly request you to
arrnage
Correct your spelling
arrange
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 bigger size
garbage
 bin , which will have
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 volume and the dump truck has to empty the
garbage
 every week rather than biweekly. Thank you for your attention
this
Change preposition
to this
show examples
 matter. I look forward to your prompt response. Yours Faithfully, Jass
Submitted by jaspreetkaurdasuya on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure by organizing sentences clearly. Some sentences can be rephrased to enhance clarity, such as 'people ... dump the garbage' to 'people find it difficult to reach the garbage bin due to its height, leading to garbage being left outside.'
task achievement
Ensure the complete response by providing more detailed descriptions or examples. For instance, describe specific incidents or community views on the issue.
task achievement
Used an appropriate and polite tone for formal letter writing, which is essential for effective communication with the local council.
coherence cohesion
Closing with 'Yours Faithfully' is correctly used when the letter starts with a generic 'Dear Sir or Madam.'
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph introduced a new idea in a coherent manner, helping the reader follow your line of thinking. This helps improve overall readability.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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