Some people think that children should obey and do what their parents and teachers want them to do. Others think that children controlled too much cannot deal with problems themselves in adulthood. Discuss both views and state your own opinion
Some people think that
children
should obey their parents
and teachers
, and do what they instruct children
to do. Others believe that children
who are controlled too much cannot deal with problems when they become adults. I personally believe that while
controlling makes children
disciplined for a certain time, it hinders their capabilities of making
Change preposition
to make
decisions
in their adulthood.
If children
are controlled by their parents
and teachers
, they become disciplined. They learn to maintain rules,
and act Remove the comma
apply
according to
the instructions given by their elders. As a result
, they become disciplined,
and have control over their Remove the comma
apply
lives
. For example
, in Bangladesh, children
are strictly controlled by their parents
until they become 18. They always follow their parents
' advice at
every aspect of their Change preposition
in
lives
, therefore
, their lives
are very disciplined and regulated. However
, I personally believe that controlling by
their Change preposition
apply
parents
hinders the decision-making skills of children
.
Children
who are controlled by their parents
and teachers
cannot make decisions
in the future. They always depend on others when it comes to decision-making. They become confuse
about making Change the verb form
confused
decisions
and cannot find a conclusion on their own which impacts their development of becoming independent. For example
, the young generation in India, who are always guided by their parents
and teachers
become confuse
about making Change the verb form
confused
decisions
in their later lives
. Therefore
, too much control of parents
and teachers
over children
is harmful.
In conclusion, I believe that while
strict parental control over children
makes them disciplined, they should not be controlled by their elders. It hampers their dicision-making
abilities in the future.Correct your spelling
decision-making
Submitted by rahman_rehana on
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coherence and cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures to maintain reader interest and improve overall cohesion.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph builds logically from the one before it, with clear transitions.
task response
Try to support your points with a broader range of examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your arguments well.
task response
The essay addresses both views effectively and states your opinion clearly.
task response
Your examples are relevant and help to illustrate your points.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite