Some people think that children should obey and do what their parents and teachers want them to do. Others think that children controlled too much cannot deal with problems themselves in adulthood. Discuss both views and state your own opinion

#people #children #parents #teachers #adulthood

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Some people think that

children

Use synonyms

should obey their

parents

Use synonyms

and

teachers

Use synonyms

, and do what they instruct

children

Use synonyms

to do. Others believe that

children

Use synonyms

who are controlled too much cannot deal with problems when they become adults. I personally believe that

while

Linking Words

controlling makes

children

Use synonyms

disciplined for a certain time, it hinders their capabilities

of making

Change preposition

to make

show examples

decisions

Use synonyms

in their adulthood. If

children

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are controlled by their

parents

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and

teachers

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, they become disciplined. They learn to maintain rules

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and act

according to

Linking Words

the instructions given by their elders.

As a result

Linking Words

, they become disciplined

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and have control over their

lives

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For example

Linking Words

, in Bangladesh,

children

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are strictly controlled by their

parents

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until they become 18. They always follow their

parents

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' advice

Change preposition

show examples

every aspect of their

lives

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therefore

Linking Words

, their

lives

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are very disciplined and regulated.

However

Linking Words

, I personally believe that controlling

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their

parents

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hinders the decision-making skills of

children

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Children

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who are controlled by their

parents

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and

teachers

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cannot make

decisions

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in the future. They always depend on others when it comes to decision-making. They become

confuse

Change the verb form

confused

show examples

about making

decisions

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and cannot find a conclusion on their own which impacts their development of becoming independent.

For example

Linking Words

, the young generation in India, who are always guided by their

parents

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and

teachers

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become

confuse

Change the verb form

confused

show examples

about making

decisions

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in their later

lives

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Therefore

Linking Words

, too much control of

parents

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and

teachers

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over

children

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is harmful. In conclusion, I believe that

while

Linking Words

strict parental control over

children

Use synonyms

makes them disciplined, they should not be controlled by their elders. It hampers their

dicision-making

Correct your spelling

decision-making

abilities in the future.

Submitted by rahman_rehana on Tue Oct 22 2024

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coherence and cohesion

Consider varying your sentence structures to maintain reader interest and improve overall cohesion.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure each paragraph builds logically from the one before it, with clear transitions.

task response

Try to support your points with a broader range of examples to strengthen your arguments.

coherence and cohesion

You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your arguments well.

task response

The essay addresses both views effectively and states your opinion clearly.

task response

Your examples are relevant and help to illustrate your points.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

261 words

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Some people think that children should obey and do what their parents and teachers want them to do. Others think that children controlled too much cannot deal with problems themselves in adulthood. Discuss both views and state your own opinion

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some people argue that art, such as paintings and music are a waste of money and and the government should spend this money on pubic service To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Environmental damage is a problem in most countries. What are the causes and solutions for this issue?

Nowadays number of older people select to live in retirement communities with other people rather than living with their adults .is it a positive or negative way.

Write about the advantages and disadvantages of robots

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.