Nowadays many people have access to computers and a large number of children enjoy playing video games. What are the advantages and disadvantages of playing video games for children?

These days using
comupers
Correct your spelling
computers
commuters
as well as
playing online
games
has gained popularity among
people
,
in particular
the younger
genration
Correct your spelling
generation
.
This
phenomenon has its pros and
con
Fix the agreement mistake
cons
show examples
, and
this
article will delve into
this
issue.
To begin
with, playing video
games
and having access to
comuters
Correct your spelling
computers
commuters
are more likely to have some benefits for its users which may be helpful in personal growth. Having the ability to tackle problems quicker than other peers is one of the merits of being
a users
Correct the article-noun agreement
a user
users
show examples
of these
games
.
In other words
,
this
results in fostering problem-solving skills in children.
Furthermore
, it is possible that some
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
enjoy playing whether computer or online
games
with
couple
Change the article
a couple
show examples
of
Correct your spelling
or
show examples
more
people
.
This
results in not only
hving
Correct your spelling
having
a great time with others but it
also
teaches them
team work
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
and
co-operating
Correct your spelling
cooperating
show examples
with others in
real life
Add a hyphen
real-life
show examples
experiences. To illustrate, children may learn that they have some duties in school in
team
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
works and they know how to
hadle
Correct your spelling
handle
challenges as soon as possible, meaning that they are positively affected by those
games
.
On the other hand
,
this
complex issue might have its demerits as well. The appearance of some serious disorders
such
as obesity is one of the worst negatives of spending time playing
games
overtime
Correct your spelling
over time
show examples
, owing to do nothing other than
woring
Correct your spelling
working
on either
comuters
Correct your spelling
computers
commuters
or
consules
Correct your spelling
consoles
. To put it another way, individuals might lead a
sendentary
Correct your spelling
sedentary
life styles
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
rather than active ones.
Moreover
, the more
people
spend their time
such
Change preposition
in such
show examples
activities, the
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
show examples
positive interactions they
can would
Verb problem
apply
show examples
have with their
beloved
Correct your spelling
loved
show examples
ones.
This
may
results
Wrong verb form
result
show examples
in feeling isolated, which can be quite dangerous for
people
unless they avoid playing online
games
long
Change preposition
for long
show examples
hours and communicate with actual
people
.
To conclude
, because of the popularity of computers and video
games
,
people
may suffer from
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
of these activities, including being
overwight
Correct your spelling
overweight
, and isolated, both of which can affect their lives adversely.
While
Correct word choice
This
show examples
this
matter may have its
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
as well,
such
as improving individuals' problem-solving skills and
collaborating
Replace the word
collaboration
show examples
.
Submitted by sahar.moti1994 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Work on improving the overall clarity and comprehensiveness of the ideas presented in your essay. Ensure each point is fully explained and connected to your main argument.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific and relevant examples to support your points. This will help to illustrate your arguments more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure logical flow throughout the essay, making sure that ideas are connected well, and transitions between paragraphs are smooth.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the discussion effectively.
task achievement
Main points are fairly well supported with logical reasoning and some examples.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: