Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes ( for example working for a charity, improving the neighbour or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree. Give reasons for your answer and Include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

Community
services
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
become
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
debatable topic of discussion in recent years.It is essential for the welfare of
society
.A lot of
people
argue that
community
services
(
such
as working for
charity
,improving the
neighbour
Fix the agreement mistake
neighbours
show examples
or teaching sports to younger children).I absolutely concur with
this
statement.In the following paragraphs, I will discuss why
this
is important.
Firstly
,It encourages
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
sense of
scrifice
Correct your spelling
sacrifice
among the
people
who
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
to lead the
society
in the near future .Students in high school are going to disperse in various
walk
Fix the agreement mistake
walks
show examples
of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life in few a years,They should be taught to develop the sensations of selflessness in order to render their
services
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
community
.
For example
, the countries
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
teach
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
students
charity
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
little age
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
have more
people
with the spirit of nationalism they
priortise
Correct your spelling
prioritise
the welfare of
society
than their personal benefits that
impacts
Change the verb form
impact
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
in
Correct article usage
a remarable
show examples
remarable
Correct your spelling
remarkable
remarkably
positive way.
Furthermore
, It enables the youth to find their hidden talent.If a student is interested and sports and he is given the opportunity and platforms to play in its school
then
he can perform better than a sportsman who trained himself after the school.
Therefore
,schools should organise
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sports
event
Fix the agreement mistake
events
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
younger age to bring up the players who are meant to be
player
Fix the agreement mistake
players
show examples
.
Lastly
,
Although
a lot of
people
beileve
Correct your spelling
believe
that students should focus on their professional subjects ,I believe that teaching
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
community
services
helps them to learn what are the real problems in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
and how their
professional
Fix the agreement mistake
professionals
show examples
can contribute to
eradicate
Change the verb form
eradicating
show examples
these issues .They identify the co-relation and
then
strive their best to eliminate the issue. In conclusion ,
community
services
are
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
vital part of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education.If the kids are given the training for the
charity
they try to implement
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
show examples
their lives and
participates
Correct subject-verb agreement
participate
show examples
to solve
Change preposition
in solving
show examples
the problems.
For example
,If doctors are taught
charity
then
after becoming
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
doctors mostly they allocate their time every
weak
Correct your spelling
week
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
running
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
clinic that
treat
Change the verb form
treats
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
poor patients for free.When these
toughts
Correct your spelling
thoughts
dominate the
society
It improves the social culture substantially.
Submitted by shehzadarshad976 on

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clear comprehensive ideas
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complete response
The essay discusses the importance of community service in schools and provides a supportive argument with multiple perspectives.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion are clearly present and effectively frame the discussion on community service.
logical structure
You use connectives and transitional phrases effectively to connect your ideas and arguments.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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