Doctors in many countries are saying that people are not getting enough physical exercise. What are the causes of this? How it can be addressed?

As the expanse of modernisation is overhauling each sphere of life the dynamics of maintaining health have altered too. In several
nations
Add a comma
nations,
show examples
physicians stated that members of
socities
Correct your spelling
societies
are living inactive
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
.
Although
myriad
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a myriad
the myriad
show examples
of ostensible factors are accountable
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
scenario, with
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
steps and perspectives
this
prejudice can be eradicated. Tacitly, the
predominat
Correct your spelling
predominant
predominate
factors that evidently triggered it can be observed. First and foremost,
Correct article usage
the invvovation
show examples
invvovation
Correct your spelling
innovation
invocation
of technology plays an aggressive role in
this
area. To clarify, in bygone days individuals
use
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
to do their own chores like shopping, cleaning and even entertainment,
whereas
these days
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
applications
helps
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help
show examples
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
shopping, automated
vacuumes
Correct your spelling
vacuums
vacuumed
vacuum
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
cleaning and mobile
phons
Correct your spelling
phones
show examples
in entertainment which results
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
lazziness
Correct your spelling
laziness
and
sedentary
Correct article usage
a sedentary
show examples
lifestyle. To illustrate, a survey conducted by the United States Census Bureau over a group of 2000 people revealed that 50% of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
prefer to use new
innovation
Fix the agreement mistake
innovations
show examples
to finish their tasks,
while
they spend their time on television or mobile phones.
Nevertheless
Add a comma
Nevertheless,
show examples
there are potential ways to curb
this
menace. To
embark
Verb problem
begin
show examples
with, everyone
shold
Correct your spelling
should
adapt
walking
Change preposition
to walking
show examples
or running when they are going to the nearest destinations
along with
using stairs
insted
Correct your spelling
instead
of elevators. To go deeper, starting
Correct article usage
the aformentioned
show examples
aformentioned
Correct your spelling
aforementioned
activities can improve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
minimal activity and
individual's
Correct article usage
an individual's
show examples
health. To exemplify, Mr Benjamin Bradlee editor of the Washington Post stated in
this
editorial on
sedentary
Add an article
the sedentary
a sedentary
show examples
lifestyle that small encouragement and steps can
leead
Correct your spelling
lead
to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
better outcome in
period
Add an article
a period
the period
show examples
of time.
To conclude
it can be said that
although
multifarious reasons are accountable for the decreased physical activities, the collaborative effort of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
and doctors can ameliorate
this
problem.
Submitted by smanureet on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Use varied transition words and phrases to link ideas within and between paragraphs, enhancing the flow of the essay.
task achievement
Provide more detailed examples and evidence to support the main points, making them more convincing and relevant.
coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Get your IELTS Essential Vocabulary List —
Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • digital entertainment
  • physical inactivity
  • recreational facilities
  • modern conveniences
  • remote work
  • high stress levels
  • streaming services
  • video games
  • social media
  • physical activity
  • accessibility
  • public awareness campaigns
  • health benefits
  • habit formation
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