Today, many people rely on the internet to diagnose and cure their own health problems instead of seeing a doctor. Why is this happening? Is it a positive or negative development?

#people #internet #cure #health #doctor #development

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It is observed that many individuals detect their own health on the

internet

Use synonyms

rather than

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

consult a doctor

due to

Linking Words

trust

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level.In

this

Linking Words

essay,

positive

Correct article usage

the positive

show examples

aspects of using the

internet

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will be discussed in the following paragraph. The

first

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and foremost, positive aspect of using

Correct article usage

the

show examples

internet

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to diagnose is cost and time because most

people

Use synonyms

think that they can better make

Add an article

a self

show examples

self diagnosis

Add a hyphen

self-diagnosis

show examples

while

Linking Words

others consider it worthless. Using the

internet

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is a significant mean to save money and time

Linking Words

however

Add the comma(s)

, however

show examples

, most

people

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have

busy

Add an article

a busy

show examples

routine ,

they

Correct word choice

and they

show examples

hardly find time for themself that's why they prefer to utilize

Use synonyms

internet

Add an article

the internet

show examples

for cure and

dignosis

Correct your spelling

diagnosis

In addition

Linking Words

, many online websites are free of cost and easily reachable.

Due to

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, many individuals

trust

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Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

internet

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for example

Linking Words

According to

Linking Words

the International Telecommunication Union between 56% to 75% of

people

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get online treatment in the USA. Moving toward the second positive view, the majority of

masses

Correct article usage

the masses

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have access to the

internet

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because of inaccurate analysis of a disease by a doctor.It is said that the

first

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experience is your

last

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experience

Linking Words

while

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apply

show examples

many

people

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do not

trust

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doctors after their

first

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bad experience

however

Linking Words

, they think that they can better diagnose themselves.

Furthermore

Linking Words

people

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can have useful control over their health when they feel unwell they immediately concern their symptoms on the

internet

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.In

this

Linking Words

way, they remain healthy and fit.

For instance

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, one study has shown that 85% of

people

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around the world

trust

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internet

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except for going to a doctor.

To sum up

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, it is beneficial to use the

internet

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for

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apply

show examples

great control over your health but doctors should be your

first

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priority.

Submitted by madihaali8470 on Tue Oct 22 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Include more specific examples to support your points and strengthen your argument. You mentioned some statistics, but they are quite general. Providing detailed examples or case studies can make your argument more convincing.

task achievement

Ensure that your discussion of both advantages and disadvantages (if mentioned) are balanced. You predominantly focused on positives, but exploring potential negatives could enrich the essay.

coherence cohesion

Improve transitions between ideas and paragraphs for smoother flow. While you introduced different points, the progression could be more streamlined.

coherence cohesion

Refine the introduction and conclusion to ensure they clearly state the essay's purpose and main insights. The introduction needs slightly more context or background, and the conclusion should succinctly encapsulate the discussion.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with distinct paragraphs discussing separate ideas. This helps in maintaining a logical flow.

task achievement

You made a good attempt at analyzing why people turn to the internet for health advice, providing a couple of perspectives on the issue.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

273 words

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Today, many people rely on the internet to diagnose and cure their own health problems instead of seeing a doctor. Why is this happening? Is it a positive or negative development?

Your opinion

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning your father language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweight disadvantages?

More and more people these days work harder and longer hours and have no time for family life and friends. What are the causes in your opinion for this? How is it affecting family life and the society as a whole?

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.