Today, many people rely on the internet to diagnose and cure their own health problems instead of seeing a doctor. Why is this happening? Is it a positive or negative development?

It is observed that many individuals detect their own health on the
internet
rather than
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
consult a doctor
due to
trust
level.In
this
essay,
positive
Correct article usage
the positive
show examples
aspects of using the
internet
will be discussed in the following paragraph. The
first
and foremost, positive aspect of using
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
internet
to diagnose is cost and time because most
people
think that they can better make
Add an article
a self
show examples
self diagnosis
Add a hyphen
self-diagnosis
show examples
while
others consider it worthless. Using the
internet
is a significant mean to save money and time
however
Add the comma(s)
, however
show examples
, most
people
have
busy
Add an article
a busy
show examples
routine ,
they
Correct word choice
and they
show examples
hardly find time for themself that's why they prefer to utilize
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
for cure and
dignosis
Correct your spelling
diagnosis
.
In addition
, many online websites are free of cost and easily reachable.
Due to
this
, many individuals
trust
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
internet
for example
,
According to
the International Telecommunication Union between 56% to 75% of
people
get online treatment in the USA. Moving toward the second positive view, the majority of
masses
Correct article usage
the masses
show examples
have access to the
internet
because of inaccurate analysis of a disease by a doctor.It is said that the
first
experience is your
last
experience
while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
many
people
do not
trust
doctors after their
first
bad experience
however
, they think that they can better diagnose themselves.
Furthermore
,
people
can have useful control over their health when they feel unwell they immediately concern their symptoms on the
internet
.In
this
way, they remain healthy and fit.
For instance
, one study has shown that 85% of
people
around the world
trust
on
internet
except for going to a doctor.
To sum up
, it is beneficial to use the
internet
for
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
great control over your health but doctors should be your
first
priority.
Submitted by madihaali8470 on

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task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points and strengthen your argument. You mentioned some statistics, but they are quite general. Providing detailed examples or case studies can make your argument more convincing.
task achievement
Ensure that your discussion of both advantages and disadvantages (if mentioned) are balanced. You predominantly focused on positives, but exploring potential negatives could enrich the essay.
coherence cohesion
Improve transitions between ideas and paragraphs for smoother flow. While you introduced different points, the progression could be more streamlined.
coherence cohesion
Refine the introduction and conclusion to ensure they clearly state the essay's purpose and main insights. The introduction needs slightly more context or background, and the conclusion should succinctly encapsulate the discussion.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with distinct paragraphs discussing separate ideas. This helps in maintaining a logical flow.
task achievement
You made a good attempt at analyzing why people turn to the internet for health advice, providing a couple of perspectives on the issue.

Your opinion

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