Today, many people rely on the internet to diagnose and cure their own health problems instead of seeing a doctor. Why is this happening? Is it a positive or negative development?
It is observed that many individuals detect their own health on the
internet
rather than to
consult a doctor Fix the infinitive
apply
due to
trust
level.In this
essay, positive
aspects of using the Correct article usage
the positive
internet
will be discussed in the following paragraph.
The first
and foremost, positive aspect of using a
Correct article usage
the
internet
to diagnose is cost and time because most people
think that they can better make Add an article
a self
self diagnosis
Add a hyphen
self-diagnosis
while
others consider it worthless. Using the internet
is a significant mean to save money and time however
, most Add the comma(s)
, however
people
have busy
routine , Add an article
a busy
they
hardly find time for themself that's why they prefer to utilize Correct word choice
and they
internet
for cure and Add an article
the internet
dignosis
.Correct your spelling
diagnosis
In addition
, many online websites are free of cost and easily reachable.Due to
this
, many individuals trust
on
the Change preposition
apply
internet
for example
, According to
the International Telecommunication Union between 56% to 75% of people
get online treatment in the USA.
Moving toward the second positive view, the majority of masses
have access to the Correct article usage
the masses
internet
because of inaccurate analysis of a disease by a doctor.It is said that the first
experience is your last
experience while
many Correct word choice
apply
people
do not trust
doctors after their first
bad experience however
, they think that they can better diagnose themselves. Furthermore
,people
can have useful control over their health when they feel unwell they immediately concern their symptoms on the internet
.In this
way, they remain healthy and fit.For instance
, one study has shown that 85% of people
around the world trust
on internet
except for going to a doctor.
To sum up
, it is beneficial to use the internet
for a
great control over your health but doctors should be your Remove the article
apply
first
priority.Submitted by madihaali8470 on
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task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points and strengthen your argument. You mentioned some statistics, but they are quite general. Providing detailed examples or case studies can make your argument more convincing.
task achievement
Ensure that your discussion of both advantages and disadvantages (if mentioned) are balanced. You predominantly focused on positives, but exploring potential negatives could enrich the essay.
coherence cohesion
Improve transitions between ideas and paragraphs for smoother flow. While you introduced different points, the progression could be more streamlined.
coherence cohesion
Refine the introduction and conclusion to ensure they clearly state the essay's purpose and main insights. The introduction needs slightly more context or background, and the conclusion should succinctly encapsulate the discussion.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with distinct paragraphs discussing separate ideas. This helps in maintaining a logical flow.
task achievement
You made a good attempt at analyzing why people turn to the internet for health advice, providing a couple of perspectives on the issue.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?