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Writing Samples
Band 4

These days people prefer to watch live performances through TV or Computer, online rather than go to the place of event

#people #performances #tv #computer #place #event
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Nowadays
people
Use synonyms
 would prefer to watch performances on TV or computer rather than go to the place of the event. I agree that it is better to watch
events
Use synonyms
,shows,and concerts online or from the computer does has more benefits, the reason is it saves time and money, and most importantly it handles comfort, it is impossible to watch
events
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 lying down or with pausing it,unlikely you cant watch
while
Linking Words
 eating on the live
events
Use synonyms
,
therefore
Linking Words
 watching it in
computer
Add an article
the computer
show examples
 makes more comfort
along with
Linking Words
 plus for time management,
accordingly
Linking Words
 it gives us more advantage for time management and financially.
However
Linking Words
 in some cases, it is widely important to go
live
Fix the infinitive
to live
show examples
events
Use synonyms
 rather than watching them at home, at some point
people
Use synonyms
 need to go to concerts or shows with their friends or with
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
close
people
Use synonyms
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
reason is that it builds great memory and highlights which can make good memories throughout their lives, many
people
Use synonyms
doesn’t
Change the verb form
don’t
show examples
 like to watch
events
Use synonyms
 in real life because they think it might be expensive,
although
Linking Words
 it is expensive it does give vibe and feelings.
Although
Linking Words
 many
people
Use synonyms
 choose to watch shows online, mainly keeping a balance for both watching online and live made it good.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task achievement
To achieve a higher score in task achievement, provide more specific examples or data to support your points. This will help illustrate your ideas clearly and make your argument more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by organizing your points in a more structured manner. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and flows logically to the next.
task achievement
Work on the variety and precision of your word choice to enhance the overall clarity and impact of your writing.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in maintaining the reader's interest and providing a structured response.
task achievement
You have addressed the task prompt, discussing both the benefits of watching events online and the reasons to attend live performances.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • live performances
  • TV
  • computer
  • online
  • event
  • agree
  • disagree
  • convenience
  • accessibility
  • cost-effectiveness
  • variety
  • options
  • comfort
  • interaction
  • engagement
  • social experience
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