some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. why is this the case? do you think this is a positive or negative development?

These days it seems that
smartphones
are utilized by some children for long hours daily. In
this
article, I aim to dispute the reasons for
this
and it should be mentioned that despite the arguments made by various people, I personally believe that it cannot be considered as a positive advancement. Thanks to the advent of technology,
smartphones
are becoming popular among adolescents recently. There are several reasons that children are keen on spending long hours using their
smartphones
. Chief among these reasons is that by applying them, not only can teenagers take it as a multiple asset to perform various affairs to amuse themselves, but
also
they will be able to communicate with their friends during the day by sending messages. Take playing games, browsing the web, and taking selfie pictures as salient examples of using
smartphones
as practical tools
as well as
amusement .
However
, it should be taken into consideration that it would
cause
Verb problem
have
show examples
negative impacts on kids. The most significant effect is that the more time children spend using
smartphones
, the less concentration they can have on their lessons.
Furthermore
, their health can be influenced by playing with
smartphones
, leading to eye problems. Another scenario which should be taken into account is that if they devote their quality time to
smartphones
, they will not be active any more, resulting in obesity and perhaps heart disease in the future; meanwhile, parents are responsible for tackling
this
issue under any circumstances. By way of conclusion, I would restate my position in favor of wasting hours on
smartphones
which has negative effects on children`s well-being.
Thus
,
this
will not be regarded as a positive development
due to
kids` health is more vital than entertainment.
Submitted by ieltsacademic77 on

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task achievement
Make sure to delve deeper into the reasons why children spend so much time on smartphones; more specific examples can strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Though your ideas are clearly presented, offering more structured transitions between points could improve overall flow.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that present and summarize the main argument effectively.
task achievement
The essay addresses the question directly, covering both why children use smartphones and the potential negative consequences.
task achievement
You have used pertinent examples to support your points, particularly around smartphone use and its impact on health and concentration.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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