Write about the following topic: Should long-term job seekers in receipt of government benefits be made to do voluntary work so that they give something back to the community? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.
There is no denying the fact that voluntary
work
could give us a sense of emotion and that significantly Correct subject-verb agreement
benefits
benefit
. Correct pronoun usage
benefit us
While
it is a commonly held belief that job seekers could work
for free to give something back to the government and society. There is also
an argument that opposes it. In my opinin
, I consider that could lead a problems and circumstances so it's better to avoid that suggestion and I will clarify in Correct your spelling
opinion
opinin'
this
essay.
To begin
with, recently, many graduates facing
Wrong verb form
have faced
a
challenging Correct article usage
apply
momments
Correct your spelling
moments
moment
to find
an appropriate job. Change preposition
in finding
In other words
, the competition now is in
Change preposition
at
high
level, so there is no need to increase it. Correct article usage
a high
In addition
, the
most companies looking for Correct article usage
apply
a
high skills and professional certificates. Correct article usage
apply
For example
, The ielts
exam Correct your spelling
the IELTS
now
Add a missing verb
is now
is
Correct your spelling
in
demand
in many companies around the world which is difficult to Change preposition
in demand
achievable
for some people.
Another point to consider, forcing people to Replace the word
achieve
work
it
is a wrong idea which Correct pronoun usage
apply
lead
to bad results. It is Change the verb form
leads
also
possible to say that the employee who work
for voluntary Change the verb form
works
work
, probably they
do not have a Correct pronoun usage
apply
possion
or desire to Correct your spelling
passion
position
work
,therefore
poor quality. Moreover
, this
will have a nigatively
impact on communities. Correct your spelling
negative
negatively
For instance
, the passion for any worker is money so, working as a voluntary
may impact your performance Replace the word
volunteer
nigativly
.
In conclusion, despite people having different views, I believe that Correct your spelling
negatively
volunary
Correct your spelling
voluntary
work
is Correct article usage
a faluable
faluable
emotion that could Correct your spelling
valuable
causes
Change the verb form
cause
happy
, Replace the word
happiness
however
, the demands today is
high level and many graduates seek to find a job so it's better to Correct subject-verb agreement
are
focusing
Change the form of the verb
focus
in
Change preposition
on
this
issue.Submitted by naif.waleead on
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general
Work on improving sentence structure and grammatical accuracy. Some repetitive errors affect clarity.
task achievement
Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your arguments.
task achievement
Ensure all ideas are fully developed and clearly expressed.
coherence cohesion
Use clear transitions between ideas to improve the logical structure of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea that links to the main topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a good frame for the arguments.
task achievement
The student presents a balanced view by considering multiple perspectives on the issue.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.