IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

The pie chart below shows information about world water resources and the bar chart shows the ultilization of water in egypt, saudi arabia and canada

The pie chart below shows information about world water resources and the bar chart shows the ultilization of water in egypt, saudi arabia and canada
#information #world #water #resources #bar #ultilization #egypt #saudi #arabia #canada
The data
visuals
Replace the word
visually
show examples
 world's
water
 distribution
along with
 the use of
waters
Fix the agreement mistake
water
show examples
 in
three
sectors
 of each country.
Overall
, almost all of
water
Add an article
the water
show examples
 sources
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
globally came from the sea which is salt
water
. Among
three
Correct article usage
the three
show examples
countries
, which are
egypt
Change the capitalization
Egypt
show examples
,
saudi
Correct your spelling
Saudi Arabia
show examples
arabia
 and
canada
Change the capitalization
Canada
show examples
, there are different styles of consuming
water
 in
three
Correct article usage
the three
show examples
same
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
sectors
.
Canada
depict
Change the verb form
depicts
show examples
 as the different one.
Pie
Correct article usage
The pie
show examples
 chart
showed
Wrong verb form
shows
show examples
 that salt
water
as
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
 major source of
water
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
worldwide, as it results in 97%
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
water
 distribution data.
while
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 it's only 3% for fresh
water
. if we investigated to
analyzed
Wrong verb form
analyse
show examples
source
Correct article usage
the source
show examples
 of fresh
water
, Ice or
gletser
Correct your spelling
glitter
letter
 is the major one followed by
ground
Correct your spelling
groundwater
show examples
water
. Next to the bar chart, the data depicted the
used
Replace the word
use
show examples
 of
water
 in
three
sectors
, they are
agriculture
, domestic, and
industry
 and compared them between
three
countries
 (
Agypt
Correct your spelling
Egypt
,
Saudi
arabia
Change the capitalization
Arabia
show examples
, and
Canada
).
Egypt
 and
Saudi
arabia
Change the capitalization
Arabia
show examples
shared
Wrong verb form
share
show examples
 the same trend of consumable
water
 in
three
sectors
. In both
countries
,
Agriculture
display
Wrong verb form
displayed
show examples
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the most
water
 used compared
than
Change preposition
to
show examples
 domestic and
industry
. There are almost 80%
water
Change preposition
of water
show examples
 used in
Egypt
 and 75%
water
Change preposition
of water
show examples
 used in Saudia
arabia
Change the capitalization
Arabia
show examples
 for
agriculture
sectors
.
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
less
water
used
Add a missing verb
is used
show examples
 in domestic and
industry
sectors
 for both
countries
. Surprisingly,
industry
Add an article
the industry
show examples
 used less
water
 than domestic in
Egypt
 and
Saudi
arabia
Change the capitalization
Arabia
show examples
. A significant
different
Replace the word
difference
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the use of
water
depicted
Add a missing verb
is depicted
show examples
 in
Canada
. In
this
 country,
Industry
Correct article usage
the Industry
show examples
 sector
used
Wrong verb form
uses
show examples
 the highest percentage of
water
 than
agriculture
 and domestic. There are almost 80% of
water
Add an article
the water
show examples
 used for
industry
.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other hand,
agriculture
 only used 10% of
water
 in
Canada
 and
then
 followed by domestic which used
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
slightly more
water
 than
agriculture
.
Submitted by putri on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words water, three, sectors, countries, egypt, saudi, arabia, canada, agriculture, industry with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "depict" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: