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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The pie chart below shows information about world water resources and the bar chart shows the ultilization of water in egypt, saudi arabia and canada

The pie chart below shows information about world water resources and the bar chart shows the ultilization of water in egypt, saudi arabia and canada
#information #world #water #resources #bar #ultilization #egypt #saudi #arabia #canada
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The data
visuals
Replace the word
visually
show examples
 world's
water
Use synonyms
 distribution
along with
Linking Words
 the use of
waters
Fix the agreement mistake
water
show examples
 in
three
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sectors
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 of each country.
Overall
Linking Words
, almost all of
Use synonyms
water
Add an article
the water
show examples
 sources
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
globally came from the sea which is salt
water
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. Among
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three
Correct article usage
the three
show examples
countries
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, which are
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egypt
Change the capitalization
Egypt
show examples
,
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saudi
Correct your spelling
Saudi Arabia
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arabia
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 and
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canada
Change the capitalization
Canada
show examples
, there are different styles of consuming
water
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
three
Correct article usage
the three
show examples
same
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
sectors
Use synonyms
.
Canada
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depict
Change the verb form
depicts
show examples
 as the different one.
Pie
Correct article usage
The pie
show examples
 chart
showed
Wrong verb form
shows
show examples
 that salt
water
Use synonyms
as
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
 major source of
water
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
worldwide, as it results in 97%
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 distribution data.
while
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 it's only 3% for fresh
water
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. if we investigated to
analyzed
Wrong verb form
analyse
show examples
source
Correct article usage
the source
show examples
 of fresh
water
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, Ice or
gletser
Correct your spelling
glitter
letter
 is the major one followed by
ground
Correct your spelling
groundwater
show examples
water
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. Next to the bar chart, the data depicted the
used
Replace the word
use
show examples
 of
water
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 in
three
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sectors
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, they are
agriculture
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, domestic, and
industry
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 and compared them between
three
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countries
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 (
Agypt
Correct your spelling
Egypt
,
Saudi
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Use synonyms
arabia
Change the capitalization
Arabia
show examples
, and
Canada
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).
Egypt
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 and
Saudi
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Use synonyms
arabia
Change the capitalization
Arabia
show examples
shared
Wrong verb form
share
show examples
 the same trend of consumable
water
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 in
three
Use synonyms
sectors
Use synonyms
. In both
countries
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,
Agriculture
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display
Wrong verb form
displayed
show examples
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the most
water
Use synonyms
 used compared
than
Change preposition
to
show examples
 domestic and
industry
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. There are almost 80%
Use synonyms
water
Change preposition
of water
show examples
 used in
Egypt
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 and 75%
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water
Change preposition
of water
show examples
 used in Saudia
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arabia
Change the capitalization
Arabia
show examples
 for
agriculture
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sectors
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
less
water
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used
Add a missing verb
is used
show examples
 in domestic and
industry
Use synonyms
sectors
Use synonyms
 for both
countries
Use synonyms
. Surprisingly,
Use synonyms
industry
Add an article
the industry
show examples
 used less
water
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 than domestic in
Egypt
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 and
Saudi
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
arabia
Change the capitalization
Arabia
show examples
. A significant
different
Replace the word
difference
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the use of
water
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depicted
Add a missing verb
is depicted
show examples
 in
Canada
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. In
this
Linking Words
 country,
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Industry
Correct article usage
the Industry
show examples
 sector
used
Wrong verb form
uses
show examples
 the highest percentage of
water
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 than
agriculture
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 and domestic. There are almost 80% of
Use synonyms
water
Add an article
the water
show examples
 used for
industry
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.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other hand,
agriculture
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 only used 10% of
water
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 in
Canada
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 and
then
Linking Words
 followed by domestic which used
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
slightly more
water
Use synonyms
 than
agriculture
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by putri on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, three, sectors, countries, egypt, saudi, arabia, canada, agriculture, industry with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "depict" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
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