IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

The plans below show a harbour in 2000 and how it looks today

#plans #show #harbour
The given maps depict the changes that have happened in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Porth
Harbour
 since 2000. The outstanding feature
that is
 easily noticed on the maps is an expanding of recreation facilities in the southern part of the
Harbour
such
 as cafes, shops and a hotel with its own beach. Another important change took place in the north where
dock
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the dock
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 was enlarged
,
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 so that more boats
can
Wrong verb form
could
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 stand there
simultiniously
Correct your spelling
simultaneously
. In 2000, there was a large Castle in the quite isolated southeastern zone of the
Harbour
. It was not used by its owners, so it was decided to replace it
by
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with
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 a new-brand hotel that privatized a public beach, which is just near it. The road to the hotel was built as a prolongation of a previous one.
Moreover
, there have been several cafes and shops opened along the road by the side of the Lifeboat. The modernisation process touched the northern region of the
Harbour
 too. Despite the public beach and the area where passenger boats are allowed to move
remained
Wrong verb form
remaining
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 the same, the Dock was extended.
In addition
, the area for fishing and those where private yachts can be kept were switched
their
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apply
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positions. The car parking zones and hygienic
zone
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zones
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 in the west were not changed. The only change that
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
 there
is
Wrong verb form
was
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an
Correct article usage
the
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 addition of extra toilets and
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a showers
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showers
Fix the agreement mistake
shower
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 area between
car
Correct article usage
the car
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 parks.
Submitted by margaritabma02 on

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language advice
Ensure that the language used is precise and avoid small inaccuracies such as 'simultaniously' instead of 'simultaneously'.
structure advice
Consider including a more explicit concluding statement to reinforce the overview provided in your introduction.
clarity advice
Break down complex sentences to enhance clarity and ensure each sentence communicates one main idea.
content highlight
The essay provides a clear comparison between the harbour in 2000 and how it looks today, mentioning several specific developments.
structure highlight
Logical structure is maintained throughout, with a clear separation between the discussion of the southern and northern parts of the harbour.
content highlight
The use of specific examples, such as the replacement of a castle with a hotel and changes to the dock, enhances the task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • multi-purpose building
  • recreational facilities
  • maritime safety
  • leisure destination
  • tourism-focused
  • infrastructure improvements
  • pedestrian promenade
  • landmark
  • expanded roads
  • transport infrastructure
  • industrial use
  • cruise ship terminal
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