IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is thought by some that it is better to live in a city while other believes that life is better in the countryside. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

#city #life #countryside
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some
people
 believe that living in urban areas
are more
Verb problem
is
show examples
 preferable,
whereas
 other
part
Change the wording
parts
show examples
 of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 are of the view that rural areas
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 better to inhabit. In my opinion, life in
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 is
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
superior as there is plenty of opportunities for growth.
This
 essay will discuss both points of view. On the one hand,most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
 prefer metropolises because of
thehigh
Correct your spelling
the high
 access
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 higher
education
 institutions,
depsite
Correct your spelling
despite
 the fact that the costs are much high in
metropolis
Correct article usage
a metropolis
show examples
. A lot of international
universities
Change the noun form
university
show examples
 branches are located in
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
a city center
city centers
show examples
city
 centers
therefore
, a lot of students from
towms
Correct your spelling
towns
 move to
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 to get a good quality
education
.
For example
,
according to
 the statistics of the University of Westminster, more than 60% of students are from different regions of Uzbekistan and they provide
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
 for
that
Correct determiner usage
those
show examples
 students.
Nevertheless
,
population
 density is quite high and there is intense competition among
brand
Fix the agreement mistake
brands
show examples
 which drives the cost of
services
.
For instance
, IMRS reported that the price of rent increased by 2,4% in September as demand increased during
those period
Change the determiner
that period
those periods
show examples
.
On the other hand
, another part of humanity
think
Correct subject-verb agreement
thinks
show examples
 rural
city
 life is better as there is less noise pollution,
however
, the accessibility to medical
services
 is hard.
People
 struggle with traffic noise and noise from constructive sites in
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
while
 inhabitants of
Correct article usage
the countrysides
show examples
countrysides
Fix the agreement mistake
countryside
show examples
 enjoy the voice of nature
such
 as waterfalls, singing birds, and whispering
leafs
Correct your spelling
leaves
show examples
. At the same time, rural area
population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
show examples
 struggle with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
limited access to medical
services
, namely hospitals and clinics.
People
 spend a lot of hours on the way in order to get to the
high
Replace the word
highly
show examples
 experienced doctors. To
examplify
Correct your spelling
exemplify
, In
india
Change the capitalization
India
show examples
 20% of
Add an article
the hospital
a hospital
show examples
hospital
Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
show examples
located
Add a missing verb
are located
show examples
 in rural communities and 60% of
Add an article
the hospital
a hospital
show examples
hospital
Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
show examples
located
Add a missing verb
are located
show examples
 in
city
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
. In
conclsuion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,
city
 inhabitants
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
accessible
Replace the word
access
show examples
 to higher
education
however
 the prices are too high.
Nevertheless
,
village
Correct article usage
the village
show examples
population
 enjoy quiet and peace in their areas but they need to drive
long
Add an article
a long
show examples
 way to the healthcare
services
. I think life in
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 is better as it is important to get
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
education
 for future growth.
Submitted by abdukhasanova16 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
Ensure that subject-verb agreement is correct, e.g., 'living in urban areas are' should be 'living in urban areas is.'
coherence
When transitioning between ideas, use linking words or phrases to create a smoother flow.
introduction conclusion
Provide a clear and detailed introduction that outlines the main points you will discuss.
introduction conclusion
Strengthen your conclusion by briefly summarizing the discussed points before presenting your opinion.
examples
Good use of specific examples to support main points, such as statistics from the University of Westminster and IMRS.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • metropolitan
  • infrastructure
  • cosmopolitan
  • commute
  • sociocultural
  • prosperity
  • sustainability
  • rural
  • tranquility
  • urbanization
  • relocation
  • residential
  • populace
  • ecological footprint
What to do next:
Look at other essays: