IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Some people believe that police force carries guns, this encourage higher level of violence in that society. To what extend do yo agree or disagree?

2.0 / 9
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Introduction
Police
Use synonyms
is
Verb problem
are in
show examples
 a variety of other occupations because they have
a guns
Correct the article-noun agreement
a gun
guns
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.
People
Use synonyms
 like
a
Remove the article
apply
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power and
people
Use synonyms
thinking
Wrong verb form
think
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 if you have a
gun
Use synonyms
 you
power
Add a missing verb
have power
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 so
people
Use synonyms
 so scared and
violence
Replace the word
violent
show examples
police
Use synonyms
.
Police
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
violence
Replace the word
violent
show examples
 occupation because they protect
of
Change preposition
against
show examples
 other evils but sometimes they
use
Use synonyms
 a
gun
Use synonyms
. they do not like
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
gun
Fix the agreement mistake
guns
show examples
 because if they
use
Use synonyms
 a
gun
Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
 problem is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
very big and
do
Verb problem
will
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 not
solve
Wrong verb form
be solved
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.
Body paragraph 1
Some
people
Use synonyms
 like a
gun
Use synonyms
 and they admire
police
Use synonyms
 so other
people
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wrong
Add a missing verb
do wrong
show examples
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
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 about
police
Use synonyms
. we
thinging
Verb problem
think
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
normally
this
Linking Words
gun
Use synonyms
 only
police
Use synonyms
 material and if they
use
Use synonyms
 it is not
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
stiuation
Correct your spelling
situation
. Some
police
Use synonyms
 like
Use synonyms
use
Fix the infinitive
to use
show examples
 a
gun
Use synonyms
 but
this
Linking Words
 is
fault
Correct article usage
the fault
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 because ıt is forbidden to
use
Use synonyms
 guns
expect
Correct your spelling
except
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 when authorized.
Body paragraph 2
these situations may be
harressment
Correct your spelling
harassment
 situations and ıt can be used if
Correct article usage
the crimina
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crimina
Correct your spelling
criminal
 continues to escape despite being warmed.
Conclusion
we only know
Use synonyms
police
Add an article
the police
show examples
 do not like a
gun
Use synonyms
 because
Use synonyms
gun
Add an article
the gun
a gun
show examples
 is not good. There is a maybe power show but not good.

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task achievement
The essay needs a stronger and clearer introduction that directly addresses the prompt. Consider starting with an introductory sentence that sets the context and clearly states your position on the issue.
task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by relevant examples or explanations. This will help the reader understand your point of view more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Try to organize the essay more logically. Start with an introduction, followed by body paragraphs that discuss one main idea each, and conclude with a summary and your final stance.
task achievement
The essay attempts to address the prompt by discussing the perception of power associated with guns and police.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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