More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem

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Undoubtedly, most of the

kids

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are suffering from obesity nowadays.

While

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it is a commonly held belief that more

kids

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are starting to get obese

due to

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living in rich

countries

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, there is

also

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an argument that

this

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process is going to create many issues for developed towns.

This

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essay will analyse the causes and effects of

this

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particular topic and express my opinion. On the one hand, young individuals are starting to get overweight via the nutrients available in their city.

Moreover

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, many fast-food restaurants are trying to open in affluent towns because of the financial gain they can achieve there.

Therefore

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kids

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from these sorts of

countries

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have a lot of options to make in their nutrient resources.

For instance

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, a study from Harvard University demonstrated that 88% of teenagers, including young

kids

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from wealthy cities, tend to prefer unhealthy food like McDonald's.

Therefore

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, they gain extra weight and get fat.

On the other hand

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, the nations will have various issues

due to

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overweight

kids

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In addition

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, the obesity ratio will increase in the youth population,

as well as

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wealthy

countries

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can not benefit from them

due to

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their weight.

Furthermore

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, when

kids

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grow to become men or women, their job chances will be reduced

due to

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being overweight.

For example

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, wealthy

countries

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will need soldiers in the future, so if most of the young population is fat,

then

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the military jobs can not hire them

due to

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their size. In conclusion,

while

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there is no definitive answer to

this

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issue, I believe that fat young people are getting obese because of the financial stabilise cities, which contain many unhealthy foods. In terms of the various problems that cities will encounter, they will gain fat people as soon as these

kids

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grow up.

ferasmirza11Wed Oct 23 2024

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task response

Try to provide more specific examples and statistics to strengthen your argument. For instance, adding information about how government policies or cultural trends contribute to childhood obesity can further support your points.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph links smoothly to the next one. This can be achieved by using linking words and phrases that guide the reader through your argument.

task response

The essay successfully addresses both causes and effects of the problem, maintaining a balanced discussion.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively set the tone for and wrap up the discussion.

coherence cohesion

The essay is logically structured with distinct paragraphs that separate causes and effects, making it easy to follow.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

295 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity
sedentary
caloric intake
processed foods
fast food culture
screen time
metabolic disorders
healthcare expenditure
lifestyle diseases
preventative strategies
nutritional education
public health policy
body mass index (BMI)
emotional well-being
stigmatization
exercise regimen
eating habits
junk food
socioeconomic factors
health literacy

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More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

More and more adults are playing computer games. Why is this happening? Is it a positive or negative trend?

Some people think that schools should only teach academic subjects while others believe that they also teach life skills. Discuss both views and give examples.

Violence on television has a negative impact on children’s behaviour. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The bar char below shows the results of three surveys on absenteeism in a particular Europain country in the yearsof 2000, 2005 and 2010.

In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinion on this?