More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem

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Undoubtedly, most of the
kids
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are suffering from obesity nowadays.
While
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it is a commonly held belief that more
kids
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are starting to get obese
due to
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living in rich
countries
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, there is
also
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an argument that
this
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process is going to create many issues for developed towns.
This
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essay will analyse the causes and effects of
this
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particular topic and express my opinion. On the one hand, young individuals are starting to get overweight via the nutrients available in their city.
Moreover
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, many fast-food restaurants are trying to open in affluent towns because of the financial gain they can achieve there.
Therefore
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,
kids
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from these sorts of
countries
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have a lot of options to make in their nutrient resources.
For instance
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, a study from Harvard University demonstrated that 88% of teenagers, including young
kids
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from wealthy cities, tend to prefer unhealthy food like McDonald's.
Therefore
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, they gain extra weight and get fat.
On the other hand
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, the nations will have various issues
due to
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overweight
kids
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.
In addition
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, the obesity ratio will increase in the youth population,
as well as
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wealthy
countries
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can not benefit from them
due to
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their weight.
Furthermore
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, when
kids
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grow to become men or women, their job chances will be reduced
due to
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being overweight.
For example
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, wealthy
countries
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will need soldiers in the future, so if most of the young population is fat,
then
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the military jobs can not hire them
due to
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their size. In conclusion,
while
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there is no definitive answer to
this
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issue, I believe that fat young people are getting obese because of the financial stabilise cities, which contain many unhealthy foods. In terms of the various problems that cities will encounter, they will gain fat people as soon as these
kids
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grow up.
Submitted by ferasmirza11 on

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task response
Try to provide more specific examples and statistics to strengthen your argument. For instance, adding information about how government policies or cultural trends contribute to childhood obesity can further support your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph links smoothly to the next one. This can be achieved by using linking words and phrases that guide the reader through your argument.
task response
The essay successfully addresses both causes and effects of the problem, maintaining a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively set the tone for and wrap up the discussion.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured with distinct paragraphs that separate causes and effects, making it easy to follow.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • sedentary
  • caloric intake
  • processed foods
  • fast food culture
  • screen time
  • metabolic disorders
  • healthcare expenditure
  • lifestyle diseases
  • preventative strategies
  • nutritional education
  • public health policy
  • body mass index (BMI)
  • emotional well-being
  • stigmatization
  • exercise regimen
  • eating habits
  • junk food
  • socioeconomic factors
  • health literacy
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