Scientists agree that many people eat too much junk food and it is damaging their health. Some people think that this problem can be solved by educating people, while others believe that education will not work. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
This
Linking Words
essay is going to illustrate whether
education
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is a useful method to change
peolple
Correct your spelling
people
people's
mindset on the topic of eating
junk
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food
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. Personally, I think
education
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only
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
a small impact
to tackle
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on tackling
show examples
this
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problem
due to
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the formed
habit
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. First of all, some people believe that
education
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does work because of the spreading of information. Through different media,
for instance
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,
poster
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posters
show examples
printed by the government, an
advertisment
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advertisement
on the TV or
hold
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a talk, there
is
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are
show examples
many ways to indicate the importance or consequence of eating less unhealthy
food
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. It will
ineviatbly
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inevitably
raise
peolple
Correct your spelling
people
people's
awareness of health
issue
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issues
show examples
such
Linking Words
as fatigue and certain heart
diease
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disease
diseases
. It seems as a sign of warming to those
eat
Correct pronoun usage
who eat
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tremendous
junk
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food
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.
Besides
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,
education
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does
works
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work
show examples
on
teeneger
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teenager
teenagers
but not the whole society. As children
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
nurturing at school.
Education
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can be a powerful tool to prevent
unhealty
Correct your spelling
unhealthy
eating
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habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
show examples
. On the other
hands
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hand
show examples
, adults already form a concrete mindset and
accquire
Correct your spelling
acquire
the skill of critical
tinking
Correct your spelling
thinking
show examples
. Perhaps, adults know the
disvantages
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disadvantages
of eating
lot
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a lot
show examples
of
junk
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food
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, but they still cannot change
the
Change the word
their
show examples
eating
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habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
show examples
.
Furthermore
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, there is not a must to keep healthy by eating less
junk
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food
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. It is a choice for them. There
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
a lot of reasons
behind
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apply
show examples
why people eat
junk
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food
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most of the day.
Junk
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food
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is cheap and less time-consuming.
Thus
Linking Words
, people cannot change
the
Change the word
their
show examples
Use synonyms
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
show examples
easily.
To sum up
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,
education
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can be one of the
method
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methods
show examples
to diminish the number of
teenegers
Correct your spelling
teenagers
eating too much
junk
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food
Use synonyms
. But, another tool should be used to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
target
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
adults or even
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Submitted by asllchkied on

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task response
Make sure to address all parts of the task in a well-balanced manner. The discussion of both sides of the argument is present, but more depth and balance is needed.
task response
Develop your ideas more clearly and comprehensively. This will help in presenting a clearer argument and showcasing a strong stance.
coherence
Organize your ideas in a logical manner. Ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs to improve coherence.
coherence
Use a variety of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas. This will improve the cohesion of your essay and make it flow more smoothly.
coherence
Provide more specific examples to support your main points. This will strengthen your arguments and make them more relatable to the reader.
introduction
You have effectively introduced the topic and provided an opinion in the introduction.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and provides a clear final opinion.
task response
You have managed to address both sides of the argument, providing a balanced view on the debate.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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