Scientists agree that many people eat too much junk food and it is damaging their health. Some people think that this problem can be solved by educating people, while others believe that education will not work. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
This
essay is going to illustrate whether education
is a useful method to change peolple
mindset on the topic of eating Correct your spelling
people
people's
junk
food
. Personally, I think education
only have
a small impact Correct subject-verb agreement
has
to tackle
Change preposition
on tackling
this
problem due to
the formed habit
.
First of all, some people believe that education
does work because of the spreading of information. Through different media, for instance
, poster
printed by the government, an Fix the agreement mistake
posters
advertisment
on the TV or Correct your spelling
advertisement
hold
a talk, there Verb problem
apply
is
many ways to indicate the importance or consequence of eating less unhealthy Change the verb form
are
food
. It will ineviatbly
raise Correct your spelling
inevitably
peolple
awareness of health Correct your spelling
people
people's
issue
Change the noun form
issues
such
as fatigue and certain heart diease
. It seems as a sign of warming to those Correct your spelling
disease
diseases
eat
tremendous Correct pronoun usage
who eat
junk
food
.
Besides
, education
does works
on Fix the agreement mistake
work
teeneger
but not the whole society. As children Correct your spelling
teenager
teenagers
is
nurturing at school. Change the verb form
are
Education
can be a powerful tool to prevent unhealty
eating Correct your spelling
unhealthy
habit
. On the other Fix the agreement mistake
habits
hands
, adults already form a concrete mindset and Fix the agreement mistake
hand
accquire
the skill of critical Correct your spelling
acquire
tinking
. Perhaps, adults know the Correct your spelling
thinking
disvantages
of eating Correct your spelling
disadvantages
lot
of Change the article
a lot
junk
food
, but they still cannot change the
eating Change the word
their
habit
. Fix the agreement mistake
habits
Furthermore
, there is not a must to keep healthy by eating less junk
food
. It is a choice for them. There is
a lot of reasons Correct subject-verb agreement
are
behind
why people eat Change preposition
apply
junk
food
most of the day. Junk
food
is cheap and less time-consuming. Thus
, people cannot change the
Change the word
their
habit
easily.
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
To sum up
, education
can be one of the method
to diminish the number of Change to a plural noun
methods
teenegers
eating too much Correct your spelling
teenagers
junk
food
. But, another tool should be used to the
target Correct article usage
apply
of
adults or even Change preposition
apply
the
society.Correct article usage
apply
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task response
Make sure to address all parts of the task in a well-balanced manner. The discussion of both sides of the argument is present, but more depth and balance is needed.
task response
Develop your ideas more clearly and comprehensively. This will help in presenting a clearer argument and showcasing a strong stance.
coherence
Organize your ideas in a logical manner. Ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs to improve coherence.
coherence
Use a variety of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas. This will improve the cohesion of your essay and make it flow more smoothly.
coherence
Provide more specific examples to support your main points. This will strengthen your arguments and make them more relatable to the reader.
introduction
You have effectively introduced the topic and provided an opinion in the introduction.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and provides a clear final opinion.
task response
You have managed to address both sides of the argument, providing a balanced view on the debate.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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