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Band 5

Todays schools should teach their students how to survive financially in the world today. to what extent do you agree disaree with this statement?

#todays #schools #students #world #disaree
One of the wildly discussed issues nowadays is in the present time schools should educate their pupils
how
Change preposition
on how
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 to pull through financial sense across the globe these days. Now people are beginning to realize that
this
 situation is becoming more popular day by day. Personally, I tend to think that it is obviously the circumstances which have to be considered.
Also
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Also,
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i
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I
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 hope after regarding most of those individuals
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 have a negative view could replace their opinions.
Firstly
 it is well known that financial literacy is one of the widely needed abilities that will always be required,
nevertheless
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nevertheless,
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 what is your speciality
.
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?
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 What
i
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I
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 mean here is that whatever you work, even when you are a welter or dressmaker you
also
 need to know about
financial
Replace the word
finances
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.
This
 is that capability which would be actual
any
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at any
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 time, despite what kind of profession you have. A good case in point is it has the possibility of need even in ordinary life, to survive in
this
 harsh society.
On the other
hand
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hand,
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 it can
also
 be argued that a somewhat substantial quantity of parents
convinced
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are convinced
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 that it could be quite difficult to learn
as
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apply
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a fairly challenging program
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
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 financial literacy.
That is
 to
say
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say,
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 if they suppose it is too early for young children. It means They don't want to burden them with a lot of hassle. Take
for example
 every second teenager
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 gets pocket expenses every month and cannot even learn to save money. It's okay because they are just kids. In
conclusion
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conclusion,
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 taking everything mentioned into account in our final
analysis
Add a comma
analysis,
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 we can say that
however
 it could be troublesome it is that aspect of life which will wait for us in the future. We have to be ready when it catches up with us.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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coherence cohesion
Try to unify your ideas by sticking to a clear line of argument throughout the essay. Ensure every point you make is connected and supports the central thesis.
task achievement
It's important to provide specific examples relevant to the topic. Including precise examples or case studies can improve your score.
task achievement
Develop your ideas in more depth. Expand on each main point, provide explanations, and explore possible implications.
coherence cohesion
The introduction is effective, briefly outlining the issue and presenting your personal stance.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes a conclusion that synthesizes the main points, reinforcing the overall argument.
task achievement
You have effectively identified two different viewpoints regarding financial education in schools, which demonstrates good awareness of different perspectives.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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