IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for goverments to make It a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste?

#people #waste #homes #goverments #requirement #laws
It is believed that the amount of waste produced by residential buildings which remain
reprocess
Wrong verb form
reprocessed
show examples
 is significant. Authorities should consider rules to take control of
this
 problem. Many, myself included, tend to adopt a more robust stance in favour of
this
 view that the
states
 should take
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
lawful action for
this
.
Firstly
, praising and rewarding those who separate the recyclable waste from the rest should be considered by the governments. If people were to separate them for ease of reprocessing,
states
 would offer them
reduction
Add an article
a reduction
show examples
 in their tax.
Thus
, they encourage to assist
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 in
this
 part.
Moreover
,
states
 could introduce a scheme which
assist
Change the verb form
assists
show examples
 people
to distinguish
Change preposition
in distinguishing
show examples
 proper ways
for organizing
Change preposition
to organize
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their
Change the pronoun
the
show examples
leftover
Fix the agreement mistake
leftovers
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of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their houses.
For example
, providing some booklets which explain the particular recyclable objects
along with
 the offers of the government would persuade folk to cooperate with the
states
.
Secondly
, the authorities should establish a rule and policy for recycling and fine those who do not obey these recycling principles.
This
 fine would be
slight
Add an article
a slight
show examples
 increase in their tax or deprivation of some public facilities.
Furthermore
, inventing a system in order to observe people’s performance of
this
 rule is essential. When individuals understand that they are under observation, they make
effort
Correct article usage
an effort
show examples
 to practice the law more accurately.
Thus
, if they practice against the rule, they will be fined by the government. In conclusion,
while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
I agree that authorities should take legal
actions
Fix the agreement mistake
action
show examples
 for recycling by praising folk who do their responsibility and manage their waste in order to increase
possibility
Add an article
the possibility
show examples
 of using them.
However
, consider
to fine
Change the verb form
fining
show examples
 those who are disobedient.
Submitted by rezaei.rezvan94 on

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Generic
Your essay provides a well-rounded argument with some strong points, but ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea that directly ties back to the question.
Task Response
Try to develop a clear thesis statement in the introduction, outlining both sides of the argument before stating your stance.
Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance clarity, explicitly connect your examples more clearly to the main point of your argument within paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure and a well-constructed introduction and conclusion.
Task Response
You have addressed the task effectively, presenting relevant arguments and examples.
Task Response
Your examples, particularly the idea of introducing schemes and fines, are specific and enhance the argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • recycling laws
  • waste management
  • compliance
  • deterrent
  • infrastructure
  • awareness campaigns
  • penalties
  • mandates
  • resistance
  • environmental impact
  • waste disposal
  • sustainability
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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