Some people think parents should supervise their children’s activities closely, while others believe children should have more freedom. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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It is often argued that few individuals believe that
parents
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should keep an eye on each and every activity of their
children
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while
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others think that it is unethical.In
this
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essay, I will discuss both points of view on supervising
children
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's
activities
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,
as well as
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my personal view on
this
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statement. On the one hand, some people consider that it is the prime responsibility of
parents
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to monitor all
activities
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of their
children
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because of involvement in criminal
activities
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and to protect them from any harm.
However
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,
parents
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who do not interact with their
children
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are more likely to participate in criminal behaviours,
such
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as smoking , and physical aggression.Nowadays,
children
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are spending more time with their friends and school fellow so they have a greater chance of being harmed by them
therefore
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,
parents
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should take over them so that
children
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become confident to make decisions perfectly.
For example
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,
parents
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who detect their
children
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's
activities
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, their
children
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have a better ability to make their decisions confidently.
On the other hand
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, other people believe that it is unethical to examine every activity of their
children
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because it demolishes their self-identity and independence.
children
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should given the freedom to explore their own world so that they become more independent and competent.
whereas
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,
children
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who do not get freedom face emotional or mental issues like social isolation and introverted personalities because of less conversation with their friends.
For instance
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,
children
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of Authoritative
parents
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have an 80% chance of having a mental illness because they are not able to do anything own.
Hence
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, it is crucial to give more opportunities to inspect their own self.
To sum up
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, sometimes it is better to supervise their
children
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's
activities
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to make them more successful but in my opinion, giving them excess freedom may make them criminal.
Submitted by madihaali8470 on

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task achievement
To achieve a higher score, consider organizing your ideas more clearly in distinct paragraphs. Each point of view should be supported with clear and specific examples. For instance, when discussing parental supervision, provide more detailed scenarios or studies that underline your point.
coherence cohesion
To improve logical structure, ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Clarify the progression of your arguments to guide the reader effectively.
task achievement
The essay presents both sides of the argument clearly, showing a balanced discussion before presenting your opinion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction effectively introduces the topic, and the conclusion succinctly summarizes your viewpoint.
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