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Writing Samples
Band 5

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Everywhere in the world, the use of technology increased
due to
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 the innovations and improvements around the area.
This
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 caused some individuals
such
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 as office workers and students to work
and
Correct word choice
apply
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remotely from home because of the less
hasle
Correct your spelling
hassle
. I do think it is a positive development, as people can learn as many things as possible
while
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 having more flexibility in
time
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. Nowadays, the system of online learning has been implemented
due to
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 the pandemic happened in 2020.
As a result
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, even after the pandemic ends, some adults and children are still
doing
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working
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 the remote working conditions. Having to learn things without having additional cost
to
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of
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 travel
as well as
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 more accessibility to do so, are the
reason
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reasons
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 why it became popular among most individuals. They can gain the same amount of learning with less effort provided. So,
although
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 there are some drawbacks
on
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to
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 online working like lack of focus, the advantages of gained resources
overweigh
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outweigh
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 those disadvantages.
In addition
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 to that, most people tend to choose online
system
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systems
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 because they can pick the
time
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 to work themselves.
For example
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, a remote worker who has a list of tasks
chose
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chooses
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 to do it all
at
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in
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 the evening so they can hang around during the day.
This
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 flexibility can add more leisure
time
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 to everyone by simply just doing the right
time
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 management. In conclusion, there are many benefits that can be gained from technology by working remotely. People can spend less
time
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 and
efforts
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effort
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in
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apply
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doing the same task the regular way.

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task achievement
Try to develop each point in more detail and provide specific examples to support your arguments. This will enhance the depth of your task response.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea, and use linking words more effectively to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction clearly states your position that working and studying from home is a positive development, and the conclusion succinctly summarizes your argument.
task achievement
You have provided reasons for your opinion, including flexibility in time and reduced costs, which are relevant to the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • remote work
  • telecommuting
  • work-life balance
  • environmental impact
  • socio-economic background
  • face-to-face interaction
  • interpersonal skills
  • productivity
  • reliable technology
  • quality of education
  • flexible schedule
  • cost savings
  • commuting
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