In many countries, childhood obesity is a growing problem. What are the reasons for this and what can individuals and governments do to tackle the problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

People need to eat. they need to eat to survive sometimes

this

Linking Words

Use synonyms

stiuation

Correct your spelling

situation

can be exaggerated. we do not care

Linking Words

this

Change preposition

about this

show examples

Use synonyms

stiuation

Correct your spelling

situation

because we do not see

future

Correct article usage

the future

show examples

. we start

this

Linking Words

Use synonyms

stiuation

Correct your spelling

situation

by forcing our

babies

Use synonyms

to give more than their stomach

capasity

Correct your spelling

capacity

babies

Use synonyms

do not need to

Add a missing verb

do more

show examples

feed

Verb problem

apply

show examples

beacuse

Correct your spelling

because

this

Linking Words

need

Correct subject-verb agreement

needs

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

only our

capasity

Correct your spelling

capacity

. so we get our

babies

Use synonyms

used to

this

Linking Words

Use synonyms

stiuation

Correct your spelling

situation

than

Correct your spelling

then

show examples

Use synonyms

baby

Fix the agreement mistake

babies

show examples

become accustomed to it when they grow up. ıt becomes difficult to return.

this

Linking Words

stomach

want

Correct subject-verb agreement

wants

show examples

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

more and more every time. the stomach

Change the verb form

does

show examples

not understand is full so

this

Linking Words

is growing. the brain does not understand

that

Linking Words

Correct your spelling

show examples

does not need.

This

Linking Words

lack of understanding is

continous

Correct your spelling

continuous

and as people grow older, they become overweight. It does not matter what we want when choosing a job we only focus on the convenience of work. so

this

Linking Words

brain and body became

lazzy

Correct your spelling

lazy

this

Linking Words

problem

Use synonyms

can be solved if we change our habits from infancy.

for

Linking Words

example

Add a comma

example,

show examples

shoul

Correct your spelling

should

not force the

baby

Use synonyms

to eat.

this

Linking Words

problem

Use synonyms

is based on. we must focus on the root of the

problem

Use synonyms

and act

accordingly

Linking Words

. we should not force the

baby

Use synonyms

to eat more.

the

Capitalize word

The

show examples

baby

Use synonyms

should finish eating whenever she wants to finish eating. we only listen to

Use synonyms

baby

Add an article

the baby

show examples

. we can not blame

babies

Use synonyms

that we constantly feed when they are

babies

Use synonyms

for why they eat so much when eat so much when they grow up.

Capitalize word

show examples

as a result

Linking Words

, if we always focus on the

problem

Use synonyms

, the solution will be simple and we can solve it without harming the health of those around us.

kubrairmak287

Oct 23, 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Develop more structured paragraphs. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and transitions between ideas are smooth. This will enhance the logical flow of your essay.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your points. Relating personal experiences or observed scenarios can effectively illustrate your arguments.

task achievement

Try to broaden your response by addressing multiple reasons for childhood obesity, such as lifestyle, dietary habits, and technology use.

task achievement

You've addressed a root cause of childhood obesity, highlighting the importance of feeding habits from infancy.

coherence cohesion

You provide a clear sequence of thoughts on how early feeding habits can affect eating behaviors later in life.

task achievement

Your focus on listening to the body's natural needs and not forcing food intake is well-articulated.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

270 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

childhood obesity
sedentary lifestyle
balanced diet
fast food
sugary snacks
physical activity
nutrition education
health campaigns
public health initiatives
government regulations
home-cooked meals
extracurricular sports
digital entertainment
sedentary behavior

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, inspite of greater responsibilities. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
It is often believed that people feel the happiest during their youth. However, some people are sceptical about this as the happiest feeling adults experience outweighs that of young adults despite their growing responsibilities. I partially support the former view, for more diverse experiences young people have regardless of an increasing sense of satisfaction among responsible adults.
8
band
Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?
A school of thought holds that an increase in gasoline prices is the solution to the increasingly urgent traffic and environmental issues. From my perspective, although this seems to be a good measure, there are other equally effective ways that are worth considering.
7.5
band
Countries with a long average working time are more economically successful, but they are also likely to suffer from negative social consequences. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
It is sometimes asserted that a country might economically benefit from its citizens working longer hours, however there are far-reaching repercussions at the societal level. I completely agree with this assertion as increased time commitment can result in elevated national gross product as well as certain social problems.
9
band
The world is experiencing a dramatic increase in population. This is causing problems not only for poor, undeveloped countries, but also for industrialized and developing nations. Describe some of the problems that overpopulation causes, and suggestion least one possible solution.
The exponential surge in global population presents multifaceted challenges that transcend economic boundaries, affecting both impoverished, underdeveloped nations and affluent, industrialized countries alike. This demographic phenomenon necessitates a nuanced approach to sustainable development, encompassing a spectrum of socioeconomic and environmental dimensions.
7
band
Nowadays , women as well as men work full time. Therefore, women and men should share household tasks equally. ( eg cleaning and looking after children ).To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is clear that there are many discussions about sharing household tasks such as cleaning and caring baby equally between males and females because of increasing women's working time. I completely agree that housework must be shared between them.

In many countries, childhood obesity is a growing problem. What are the reasons for this and what can individuals and governments do to tackle the problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, inspite of greater responsibilities. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

The world is experiencing a dramatic increase in population. This is causing problems not only for poor, undeveloped countries, but also for industrialized and developing nations. Describe some of the problems that overpopulation causes, and suggestion least one possible solution.

Nowadays , women as well as men work full time. Therefore, women and men should share household tasks equally. ( eg cleaning and looking after children ).To what extent do you agree or disagree?