IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for government to impose higher taxes on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#countries #people #health #food #government #taxes
Our pre-sessional courses are ideal for
students
 who have a conditional place at a British university, but who need to achieve a certain level of English in order to be accepted. The
course
 aims to provide
students
 with the English language and study skills that they need in order to be successful at university or another academic establishment. It is important to note that completion of the
course
 does not guarantee
students
 entrance into a university. It is necessary for
students
 to show during the
course
 that they have understood the information and skills that they have been taught, and can incorporate it into their work. Pre-sessional
students
 at Gateway Academy will benefit from: Small class sizes (no more than 10
students
 per class)
Twenty three
Add a hyphen
Twenty-three
show examples
 hours of tuition per week Individual support and tutorials Regular guest lecturers The use of the Academy's study and recreational facilities, including the Language Library, the computer suite, and the academy's sports facilities. A varied social programme including evening entertainments and weekend excursions to popular tourist attractions and cities
such
 as Stonehenge, Oxford and Stratford-on-Avon. The
course
 offers a holistic approach to learning
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and covers reading, writing, speaking and listening skills. During the
course
,
students
 will receive instruction on important
Submitted by yuvrajsinghsaggu200703 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that your essay directly addresses the prompt. While some sections of your response seem off-topic (such as the information about a course offering), try to focus more on discussing the effects and implications of fast food consumption, reflecting on both sides of the argument mentioned in the task.
coherence cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences to introduce the main points of each paragraph. Ensure that each paragraph logically connects to the next and contributes to a cohesive overall argument.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen your conclusion by succinctly summarizing your main points and stating your position clearly. This will help improve the coherence and cohesion score.
coherence cohesion
Good use of structure in listing benefits, which shows an ability to organize information clearly. This skill can be applied to supporting an argumentative point with structured reasoning.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: