IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Topic: Some people think that the detailed description of crimes on newspapers and TV has bad consequences, so this kind of information should be restricted in the media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#topic #people #description #crimes #newspapers #tv #consequences #information #media
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Whether specific descriptions of
crimes
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 newspapers and TV news,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
should be reduced in the media since
bad
Correct article usage
the bad
show examples
 consequences it has caused,
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 been a vigorous topic of debate recently. Albeit acknowledging the disadvantages of restricting
information
Use synonyms
, the necessity of exposing
Use synonyms
crimes
Fix the agreement mistake
crime
show examples
 case
description
Fix the agreement mistake
descriptions
show examples
 should be questionable at best. To commence with, concealing
information
Use synonyms
 about crime cases can cause a broad amount of controversial ideas among
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
 about the problem. Since newspapers and social media have contributed to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
’s freedom of speech;
therefore
Linking Words
, restricting
information
Use synonyms
 might cause
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
 to become more insanely curious about the cases and lead to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
imaginary
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
 and unreal
prediction
Fix the agreement mistake
predictions
show examples
 about the
crimes
Use synonyms
 being posted online.
This
Linking Words
 can somehow create a sense of being offended
for
Change preposition
by
show examples
 the victims and their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the publication of
information
Use synonyms
 about
crimes
Use synonyms
 can help the citizens
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
become more cautious of the surrounding
society
Use synonyms
 and be aware of the possible rate of them being the next victim.
Therefore
Linking Words
, a clear description of a felony not only can prevent false
information
Use synonyms
being
Change preposition
from being
show examples
 widely spread, bringing justice
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the victims who need it, but
also
Linking Words
 bring awareness to the local citizens. Despite the aforementioned arguments, there are a vast amount of different audiences who are allowed to get access to the news and TV;
therefore
Linking Words
 young people can still approach
this
Linking Words
 kind of
information
Use synonyms
 which can contribute to numerous bad consequences. To be more specific, the young generation is a cohort of people whose mindset hasn't been fixed and can easily be influenced both negatively and positively.
Therefore
Linking Words
, acknowledging
information
Use synonyms
 about a crime case in a specific way can lead to the imitation by young people of the convicts’
action
Fix the agreement mistake
actions
show examples
 and can likely raise the number of young social evils in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, nowadays, the number of young criminals
tend
Correct subject-verb agreement
tends
show examples
 to witness a significant increase
due to
Linking Words
 the spread of
information
Use synonyms
 about “famous crime cases” being included in news and social media.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the restriction of unnecessary
information
Use synonyms
…
Submitted by silvertran05 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
Consider elaborating on the conclusion to summarize your stance and main arguments more effectively.
relevant specific examples
Use specific examples to strengthen your arguments, providing a concrete picture to the reader.
complete response
The essay provides a balanced view, discussing both the potential benefits and harms of crime reporting.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clear articulation of ideas enhances the reader's understanding of the arguments presented.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: