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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say that economic growth is the only way to end hunger and poverty, while others say that economic growth is damaging the environment so it must be stopped. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some
people
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 state if
people
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 want to solve the problems of the poor and the famine, they have to make the economy prosperous.
However
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, other humans indicate developing the economy brings defilement to the environment. Arguably, the economic
growth
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 has various effects on humanity and the surroundings. I think it is difficult to assert whether " Economic
growth
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" is beneficial for human beings or not.
People
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 who suggest dealing with famine and poverty through economic
growth
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 have some reasons. In some regions of the world, humans are underprivileged and suffer from hunger because the local economy is poor and there are fewer employment chances.
Moreover
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, even though some have jobs, their income is low on average.
Therefore
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, they may not afford increasing living expenses because of inflation these years.
As a result
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, the government needs to make an effort to increase the rate of employment,
for example
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: by providing subsidies for local industries or attracting foreign enterprises to invest in the local market. As far as I am concerned, I partially argue that economic
growth
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's devotion to society certainly copes with problems to some degree.
However
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, it is not always the resolution we can employ because other factors,
such
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 as natural disasters, wars, and so on influence
people
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's living lives.
On the other hand
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, some humans think economic
growth
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 degrades the environment and it has to be prohibited because it not only affects the ecology but
also
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 humankind. As I have mentioned, some
people
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 are in the situation of poverty for various reasons, of which it is the natural calamity. Human activities, like deforestation, factory-building have caused endless damage to ecosystems. As we know, global warming happens
due to
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 damage, and
then
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 the increasing frequency of extreme weather events
also
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 arises. In a nutshell, as they say, "Every rose has its thorn". Those economic activities may have an advantageous impact on some regions in the short term, but they cause our earth to be spoiled all over the world, and the effects are permanent.
Consequently
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, I support that
people
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 should consider and stop these pernicious events to some extent,
although
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 not thoroughly forbidden.

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task achievement
Aim to clarify some of your main points with specific examples or evidence to make your arguments more persuasive.
task achievement
Try to maintain a balanced discussion by elaborating more evenly on both views.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the flow between paragraphs by providing clear transitions and linking sentences.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear understanding of both perspectives on economic growth and attempts to evaluate them.
coherence cohesion
The essay features a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a cohesive start and end to the discussion.
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