IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

You work for an international company. You have seen a training course which will be useful for your job. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter * describe the training course you want to do * explain what the company could do to help you * say how the course will be useful for your job You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam,

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to express my concern regarding a training
course
Use synonyms
 which I have seen through an advertisement. I wish to do a training in CBT which I consider
that
Correct word choice
apply
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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will be useful for my current position.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
course
Use synonyms
 will be
one month
Add a hyphen
one-month
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duration
Change preposition
in duration
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 and require a certain amount of
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
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 to reserve
the
Correct article usage
a
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 seat. I humbly request you to cover all my expenses to complete the training and grant leave for a month. Even though
Use synonyms
course
Add an article
the course
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 is quite long, it will be beneficial for our clients as most of them enquire about the CBT facilities. By gaining certification in
this
Linking Words
 particular
course
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, we can expect a surge in the number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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clients.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I kindly request you to allow permission for the learning. Looking forward to your response Yours Faithfully Esho

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task achievement
You need to provide more details about the training course, like what CBT stands for and what specific skills you will gain from it.
coherence
Try to organize your thoughts better. Each paragraph should focus more clearly on one main idea. This will help your reader follow your points more easily.
cohesion
Make sure to use a polite closing statement. It could enhance your writing tone.
positive
You've clearly stated what you want to do and why it could be beneficial for clients.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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