Question- Buying tickets on the internet such as books, air tickets and groceries is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this outweigh the disadvantage
Online shopping provides convenient ways to buy many things
such
as books, groceries and tickets. It became popular among people
due to
the accessibility and comparable
, Replace the word
comparison
however
, the drawback such
as an increase the consumptive
is something to be considered. Replace the word
consumption
This
essay will discuss both advantages and disadvantages.
On the one hand, online shopping provides a convenient way for shopping, it takes less time because they are going nowhere for the transaction. It is because the transaction can be done in one single marketplace and additionally
, people
can compare supplies from other marketplaces or online stores to get the cheapest price. For example
, in Indonesia, there is the largest e-commerce named Tokopedia which includes many online stores with various categories of items, it has a feature to sort the items by their price and popularity, which allows the consumers to find an item.
On the other hand
, although
it makes shopping easier, it increases people
's consumption and makes excessive buying. This
is due to
the fact that people
can be interested only by looking at ads on social media and buying it
, they are Correct pronoun usage
them
expossed
Correct your spelling
exposed
by
social media trends and feel the urge to buy Change preposition
to
it
immediately. A feature in a marketplace named flash sales, Correct pronoun usage
them
for instance
, makes excessive buying because it have
cheaper prices Change the verb form
has
although
they do not actually need them. As a result
,
To conclude
, online shopping provides a convenient transaction method, although
, it also
makes people
do impulsive buying. However
, I believe the advantages still outweigh the disadvantages because people
can prevent impulsive buying by checking out only what they really need.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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task achievement
Provide a clearer thesis statement in the introduction to outline your position more directly on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that directly relates back to your thesis statement.
task achievement
Provide more detailed analysis and explanation in your main points to enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which aids in a coherent structure.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples, like Tokopedia in Indonesia, to support your points.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the key points of the essay.
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