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Band 5.5

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

#museums #charge #admission #people
Some
museums
 charge for visit
fees
while
 others are free,I believe that charging for admission has more advantages than disadvantages. I will discuss the reasons for
this
 viewpoint in
this
 essay. The money received from visitors could be used for maintenance,
for example
, income could be used for equipment maintenance, which could let
museums
 provide a better environment when audiences visit. Meanwhile, the expense could be a payment for hiring a curating expert, that could bring more wonderful exhibitions to audiences. Charging
fees
 is not only beneficial to
museums
' increasing income
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
 benefits visitors to have a better visiting experience.
Additionally
, people will abuse free resources, if
museums
 do not charge entrance
fees
, some visitors may take advantage of the free air conditioning or to use the restroom,
for instance
, often seek out free restrooms for physiological needs,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
places like public transport station toilets usually very dirty and do not have tissues, it is
due to
 the resources are free so that people would not cherish it.
As a result
, if
museums
 do not charge entrance
fees
, they may face similar issues. In conclusion, charging for museum admission not only enhances maintenance and exhibition quality but
also
 helps prevent the overuse of facilities.
Therefore
, the advantages clearly outweigh the disadvantages.
Submitted by meniwii.c on

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task achievement
Try to elaborate more on specific examples that demonstrate the impact of charging or not charging entry fees.
task achievement
Ensure all main points are clearly supported with adequate evidence or examples.
coherence cohesion
Review your paragraphs for clear transitions between ideas, particularly between supporting arguments to enhance flow.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear viewpoint and supports it with logical reasoning.
coherence cohesion
Good conclusion that wraps up the main arguments effectively.
coherence cohesion
Essay gives a good discussion on the benefits and potential downsides, showing balance in the analysis.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Admission fee
  • Revenue stream
  • Maintenance
  • Overcrowding
  • Commercialization
  • Cultural heritage
  • Diverse attendance
  • Community ownership
  • Access to culture
  • Visitor experience
  • Exhibit quality
  • Cultural mission
  • Reliance on funding
  • Government subsidies
  • Cultural accessibility
What to do next:
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