IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Social Media websites have amassed large user bases, and have become the sole source of information for their users. Do the advantages of being a part of a social media site outweigh the disadvantages?

#media #websites #user #bases #source #information #users #part #site
Social
Media
 applications have amassed huge user bases and have become the main source of
information
 for their users. from my perspective, the privileges are much more than the damages. owing to, the safety, easy-to-find
information
 and how rapid it is. First of all, social
media
 websites sh ould have
information
 about the users
due to
 whether those who use the account publish a post
that is
 not authorized or have cyberbullying someone
then
, they can prevent
this
.
Additionally
, there are injustices and dark sides which require to be stopped by the workers to protect people's rights.
For instance
, Twitter is an application
that
Correct word choice
where
show examples
 everyone can post and write everything, so those who work on it can delete user's
accounts
 and sue them.
Last
Add a comma
Last,
show examples
 of all, the usage of Social
Media
 is massively growing, and
due to
this
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
users can obtain some
information
while
 using
Media
 for
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
education
Replace the word
educational
show examples
 stuff and learning.
On the contrary
, some argue
convinced
Verb problem
apply
show examples
that
Media
 is not a reliable source and they ought to watch the news on television or read newspapers.
However
, there are some
accounts
 that are trusted to rely on them,
in addition
, some
accounts
 are owned by the government which means it is safe. To illustrate, an enormous number of people count on
accounts
 that have permission to post everything about schools and holidays.
To conclude
, the positives are nowhere near as astronomical as the negatives, Social
Media
 is safe from rumours and lies.
furthermore
, whoever does something bad, will be punished.
Submitted by bajahzar90 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
Work on making your introduction and conclusion clearer and more distinct, perhaps by restating the main points more concisely and summarizing effectively in the conclusion.
logical structure
To improve coherence, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and use linking words more effectively to show relationships between ideas. This will enhance the logical flow.
complete response
The essay addresses the task by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of social media correctly.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are clear and relevant, particularly when discussing cyber safety and information reliability.
relevant specific examples
You have provided specific examples, such as Twitter's handling of unauthorized posts, which add depth to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!