IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Today, more people are waiting until their thirties to get married and have children. Do you think this is a positive or negative development ?

Nowadays, people so many
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
children
Use synonyms
thirties
Use synonyms
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
europe
Replace the word
the European
show examples
 side. Middle
east
Capitalize word
East
show examples
 sides
isn'
Change the verb form
aren't
show examples
t
Use synonyms
 do. They are a lot of
have
Correct pronoun usage
them have
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 and they generally still twenties like that very small
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
.
My
Change preposition
In my
show examples
 opinion we have to have
children
Use synonyms
 of course it's not
forcement
Correct your spelling
enforcement
 but it is good for family
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
 and relief. If we turn
our
Change preposition
to our
show examples
 major matter; I agree with
Use synonyms
thirties
Correct article usage
the thirties
show examples
 ages, because you should go spectacle places
your
Change preposition
with your
show examples
 wife or girlfriend you should
get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
enjoy
this
Linking Words
 time. I don'
t
Use synonyms
agree
Add the particle
agree to
show examples
 have early
children
Use synonyms
, like twenties
Linking Words
due to
Change preposition
because
show examples
 if you
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
children
Use synonyms
you
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
younger
Add a missing verb
are younger
show examples
, you
couldn'
Wrong verb form
can't
show examples
t
Use synonyms
 go anywhere as long as you have a
child
Use synonyms
 you have a big
responsible
Replace the word
responsibility
show examples
. I think
twenties
Change the article
the twenties
show examples
 just
sightseeing
Correct article usage
a sightseeing
show examples
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
 you should go abroad you take
a
Correct determiner usage
some
show examples
 time with your wife you should experience
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
life. Of
course
Add a comma
course,
show examples
 we have several positive
aspect
Change to a plural noun
aspects
show examples
 but completely I can say to you there isn'
t
Use synonyms
pass
Correct article usage
a pass
show examples
 to
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
children
Use synonyms
positive
Change preposition
with positive
show examples
 aspects.
For
Linking Words
instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
 you can feel good for resemble to
you
Correct pronoun usage
your
show examples
 sweetie
children
Use synonyms
. Your baby always amusing you they are so
success
Replace the word
successful
show examples
 for happiness.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, I think you shouldn'
t
Use synonyms
 have
Use synonyms
child
Add an article
a child
show examples
 until
Use synonyms
thirties
Correct pronoun usage
your thirties
show examples
,
as a result
Linking Words
 of so many
youth
Change to a plural noun
youths
show examples
 as you said
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are waiting until their
thirties
Use synonyms
 to get married it's
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 logical decision.
Lastly
Linking Words
, you shouldn'
t
Use synonyms
 have
Use synonyms
child
Add an article
a child
show examples
 because if you have
Use synonyms
child
Add an article
a child
show examples
 you
couldn'
Wrong verb form
can't
show examples
t
Use synonyms
 sightseeing everywhere. You have to
take
Verb problem
apply
show examples
enjoy for time and life you shouldn'
t
Use synonyms
 care
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
Use synonyms
child
Add an article
the child
a child
show examples
.
Linking Words
Lastly
Add a comma
Lastly,
show examples
 majority if you have a
child
Use synonyms
 you need to know your responsibility, you mustn'
t
Use synonyms
 abandon your
child
Use synonyms
.

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advice.coherence cohesion
Try to organize your ideas in a clearer logical structure, such as following the introduction-body-conclusion format more effectively.
advice.task achievement
Make sure to fully develop your arguments with relevant examples to strengthen your response.
advice.coherence cohesion
Try to make your introduction and conclusion more distinct and concise.
advice.task achievement
Clarify your stance more clearly in the introductory paragraph and ensure your points consistently support your opinion throughout.
highlight.task achievement
The essay addresses the topic and provides a personal viewpoint.
highlight.task achievement
The writer attempts to support their viewpoint with reasoning, mentioning responsibilities and freedom at different life stages.
highlight.coherence cohesion
There's an effort to mention various perspectives and geographic differences regarding marriage and childbearing ages.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • matrimonial timing
  • fertility issues
  • career-oriented
  • financial security
  • societal norms
  • generational divide
  • personal fulfillment
  • personality development
  • biological clock
  • extended adolescence
  • family planning
  • child rearing
  • socioeconomic factors
  • traditional milestones
What to do next:
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