Some people believe that capital punishment should never be used. Others, however, argue that it should be allowed for the most serious crimes. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

While
some
individuals
argue that
death
Correct article usage
the death
show examples
penalty
should not be ever applied as
individuals
deserve a second
change
Correct your spelling
chance
show examples
, another group of
individuals
suggest that
this
should be applied for severe
crimes
because they do not believe in rehabilitation. In
this
essay, I will explain both views and argue that
death
Correct article usage
the death
show examples
penalty
could only be implemented for
extremly
Correct your spelling
extremely
severe
crimes
done
Verb problem
committed
show examples
by adults. On the one hand, some suggest that capital
penalty
should never be applied.
This
is because they believe that nobody is perfect and
offenders
Correct word choice
that offenders
show examples
, even for severe
crimes
, should have a second
chance
. They suggest that it is never
late
Rephrase
too late
show examples
to learn and be instructed with good habits, as some could have not had the opportunity to learn
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
For example
, many young
afroamerican
Correct your spelling
Afro-American
offenders were
rised
Correct your spelling
raised
in underserved communities with violent families. They were not able to see another reality to learn from. In my opinion, the capital
penalty
should not be applied to minors, as there is a
chance
to help them.
On the other hand
, another group
state
Correct subject-verb agreement
states
show examples
that the maximum punishment should be applied for
sever
Correct your spelling
severe
show examples
crimes
.
This
is because they do not believe in rehabilitation. They think that
this
is a good way to implement justice for these violent situations
such
as ripes,
homicide
Correct word choice
and homicide
show examples
, among others. They
also
argue that there is a high
chance
for
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
individuals
to
reapeat
Correct your spelling
repeat
the crime in the future, and the
death
penalty
would be a radical solution. Mass
shooting
Fix the agreement mistake
shootings
show examples
hate violent
episods
Correct your spelling
episodes
are a good example of
this
, where the offender kills many and has no regret
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
what he or she did. I believe that the capital
penalty
should only be limited to adults
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
have
commited
Correct your spelling
committed
an extreme violent crime. In conclusion, as
death
punishment is suggested by a group of
individuals
for severe
crimes
as they do not believe in rehabilitation, others reject
this
idea as they suggest
individuals
deserve a second
chance
. I think that
this
is a difficult topic and in my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
this
should be limited
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
severe cases of crime done by adults and not by minors.
Submitted by bayan.kf on

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task achievement
Add more supporting details or examples to strengthen your argument and provide a fuller response.
task achievement
Ensure all examples are directly relevant to the points you make, and consider adding more to fully explain your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Try to maintain a clearer logical flow between sentences, especially when transitioning between points.
coherence cohesion
Strong introduction and conclusion that effectively frame the discussion.
task achievement
The main points are well-supported with examples, adding depth to your argument.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument thoughtfully, demonstrating a balanced approach.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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