IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Your local council has decided to close the only park in your town and build a car park in its place. You believe this will have a bad effect on the people who live and work in the town. Write a letter to the mayor. In your letter introduce yourself explain why you think the decision is wrong say what you think the council should do instead

Respected Mayor, I am a responsible
resdient
Correct your spelling
resident
residents
 of
this
Linking Words
 town. I am writing to express my views on the closure of the only park. Since I am a nature lover person who
visit
Change the verb form
visits
show examples
this
Linking Words
 park on
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
show examples
 basis
along with
Linking Words
 numerous other
people
Use synonyms
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
I believe
this
Linking Words
 modification will make us, the
resdients
Correct your spelling
residents
, unhappy. As
this
Linking Words
 is the only natural place, where
people
Use synonyms
 can go alone or with families for
walk
Add an article
a walk
show examples
 and can spend quality time in nature
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
show examples
therefore
Linking Words
 turning it into
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
parking will create a
lot
Add the preposition
lot of
show examples
difficulies
Correct your spelling
difficulties
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
people
Use synonyms
 using it
everday
Correct your spelling
everyday
every day
. Like, children won't find any place to play and aged
people
Use synonyms
 might begin to stay inside
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 houses as there would be no place to go for
walk
Correct article usage
a walk
show examples
 or relax.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
show examples
 means
people
Use synonyms
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 all ages will
get
Verb problem
be
show examples
 affected
negetively
Correct your spelling
negatively
.
Linking Words
Instead
Add a comma
Instead,
show examples
 it is suggested, to make
street paid
Add a hyphen
street-paid
show examples
 parking and
hence
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 will not exploit it too.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, just make a parkade out of the old gas station which is not in use
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
 years. So that
people
Use synonyms
 are not devoided of one basic park in
whole
Change the article
the whole
show examples
 town. I hope the
voice
Fix the agreement mistake
voices
show examples
 of locals
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
 be heard. Regards Simran.

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task achievement
Ensure to proofread your letter for spelling mistakes such as 'resdient', 'difficulies', and 'negetively'.
coherence cohesion
Avoid using incomplete phrases like 'nature lover person', and focus on concise, clear expressions.
coherence cohesion
Consider more orderly transitions between points to improve the flow.
task achievement
The letter effectively acknowledges the closure of the park and the impact on residents.
task achievement
The letter makes suitable recommendations to the council as requested.
coherence cohesion
Your tone is polite and formal, which fits the context well.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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