In many countries, the government prioritizes economic growth above all other concerns. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages and give your own opinion.
Nowadays, for many governments around the
globe
the Add a comma
globe,
priority
is the growth of their economies Use synonyms
above all
. In Linking Words
this
essay, I will argue that the increase Linking Words
of
Change preposition
in
job
positions is the main benefit and the loss of Use synonyms
cultural
and traditions is the main drawback.
The main advantage of governments focusing on financial improvement for their nations is that Replace the word
culture
this
brings more Linking Words
job
opportunities for their citizens. Use synonyms
This
is because as the financial situation improves, companies are willing to hire more staff. Linking Words
Moreover
, new corporations will relocate their business to that particular country. Linking Words
As a result
, the Linking Words
job
market for many professionals will be expanded and individuals will have more Use synonyms
job
opportunities. China is a good example of Use synonyms
this
as since the Linking Words
last
twenty years with their economic improvement, several companies Linking Words
such
as Tesla and Apple factories have moved to Linking Words
this
country, which contributed to the Linking Words
raise
of 50 new million Correct your spelling
rise
job
positions.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, the main negative effect of Linking Words
this
situation is that the state will allocate a lower budget for other topics Linking Words
such
as culture and aboriginal knowledge. Linking Words
This
is because of the swift Linking Words
priority
to other issues. Use synonyms
As a result
, the cultural knowledge of that country will be in danger. Linking Words
For instance
, since the introduction of a capitalist government in South Korea, many of the minority groups and traditional languages were lost as those were not a Linking Words
priority
to fund and teach at school. Use synonyms
Instead
, the Linking Words
priority
was to train children in math and science. In my opinion, the culture of every nation should be maintained and preserved for future generations.
In conclusion, many officials around the globe have the main Use synonyms
priority
to support their economies Use synonyms
instead
of other areas. The main positive effect of Linking Words
this
is that it generates new income for their people and the main disadvantage is that their cultural background can be lost as they are less funded.Linking Words
Submitted by bayan.kf on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Work on enhancing the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Effective use of transitional devices or linking words will contribute to a more cohesive essay.
Task Achievement
While the main points are supported to some extent, focus on strengthening the depth of analysis to provide a more comprehensive discussion. This will reinforce your argument and show a thorough understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
Consider improving the clarity and expression of ideas. Ensure that all sentences are clear and avoid ambiguity to boost comprehension.
Coherence and Cohesion
Good introduction and conclusion, which are crucial for presenting and wrapping up the discussion succinctly.
Task Achievement
Effective use of relevant examples, such as the case of China and South Korea, adds depth and validity to the argument.
Task Achievement
The essay clearly addresses the task and discusses both advantages and disadvantages, showcasing an understanding of the question.