In many countries, the government prioritizes economic growth above all other concerns. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages and give your own opinion.

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Nowadays, for many governments around the

globe

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globe,

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the

priority

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is the growth of their economies

above all

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. In

this

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essay, I will argue that the increase

Change preposition

show examples

job

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positions is the main benefit and the loss of

cultural

Replace the word

culture

show examples

and traditions is the main drawback. The main advantage of governments focusing on financial improvement for their nations is that

this

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brings more

job

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opportunities for their citizens.

This

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is because as the financial situation improves, companies are willing to hire more staff.

Moreover

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, new corporations will relocate their business to that particular country.

As a result

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, the

job

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market for many professionals will be expanded and individuals will have more

job

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opportunities. China is a good example of

this

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as since the

last

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twenty years with their economic improvement, several companies

such

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as Tesla and Apple factories have moved to

this

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country, which contributed to the

raise

Correct your spelling

rise

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of 50 new million

job

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positions.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, the main negative effect of

this

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situation is that the state will allocate a lower budget for other topics

such

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as culture and aboriginal knowledge.

This

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is because of the swift

priority

Use synonyms

to other issues.

As a result

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, the cultural knowledge of that country will be in danger.

For instance

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, since the introduction of a capitalist government in South Korea, many of the minority groups and traditional languages were lost as those were not a

priority

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to fund and teach at school.

Instead

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, the

priority

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was to train children in math and science. In my opinion, the culture of every nation should be maintained and preserved for future generations. In conclusion, many officials around the globe have the main

priority

Use synonyms

to support their economies

instead

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of other areas. The main positive effect of

this

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is that it generates new income for their people and the main disadvantage is that their cultural background can be lost as they are less funded.

bayan.kfThu Oct 24 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Work on enhancing the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Effective use of transitional devices or linking words will contribute to a more cohesive essay.

Task Achievement

While the main points are supported to some extent, focus on strengthening the depth of analysis to provide a more comprehensive discussion. This will reinforce your argument and show a thorough understanding of the topic.

Task Achievement

Consider improving the clarity and expression of ideas. Ensure that all sentences are clear and avoid ambiguity to boost comprehension.

Coherence and Cohesion

Good introduction and conclusion, which are crucial for presenting and wrapping up the discussion succinctly.

Task Achievement

Effective use of relevant examples, such as the case of China and South Korea, adds depth and validity to the argument.

Task Achievement

The essay clearly addresses the task and discusses both advantages and disadvantages, showcasing an understanding of the question.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

316 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

prioritizes
economic growth
employment opportunities
public services
tax revenues
infrastructure development
environmental degradation
industrial expansion
income inequality
wealth accrues
neglect
social issues
metrics

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In many countries, the government prioritizes economic growth above all other concerns. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages and give your own opinion.

It is often said that the government spend too much money on the projects to protect wildlife, while there are other problem that are more important. To what extent do you agree or disagree

In some countries, marriages are arranged by the parents, but in other cases, people choose their own marriage partner. Discuss and give your own opinion.

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other s think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your own oipinion.

Eco-tourism usually involves people visiting remote areas. Some people think this will have a negative impact on local cultures and communities. What problems can result from eco-tourism? What measures can be taken to protect local culture and communities?